It is often people with fragile self-esteem who cannot apologize.
If we all use polite formulas to apologize on a daily basis (“sorry”, “excuse me”), for some to apologize sincerely is beyond their capacities. Beyond the impression of superiority, often hides a low self-esteem.
You still have to admit your mistakes…
Those most handicapped in forgiveness and apology often reflect an image of high self-esteem. From their point of view apologizing corresponds to lowering themselves and acknowledging that they are wrong when it is the fault of the other.
Forgiveness refers for them to a weakness in the image they send back to others, which is impossible for them. Beneath the air of self-confidence hides in reality a fragile self-esteem that cannot be valued otherwise: “I will not stoop to apologizing”.
A real handicap for some
While most are aware that they want to maintain a positive image towards their interlocutor, for others apologizing is simply impossible for lack of empathy or guilt. When the desire for perfection is too great, denial sets in and they fail to recognize the suffering of the other but also their own fault.
To get out of it, it is important to reconcile with yourself and learn to love yourself more. As for the one who expects an apology, he can clearly ask that he needs to hear “certain words” and share his own emotions such as sadness or anger to generate empathy. If speech is impossible, one can also seek reparation by acts, for example.
Find out more: “The Paradoxes of Forgiveness” by Nicole Fabre, Albin Michel editions.
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