What’s behind infidelity?

Understanding the message sent by infidelity makes it possible to take stock of the couple’s situation in order to better question themselves. One can deceive for lack of fulfillment but also to explore or conquer personal freedom.

A painful questioning

Cheating on your spouse is not an act taken lightly. It often hides a vicious circle that is difficult to verbalize openly. It can be for example:

– numerous reproaches and derogatory behavior,

– a lack of dialogue and listening,

– a feeling of boredom,

– a lack of attention or seduction,

– a climate of conflict,

– overwork,

– a feeling of suffocation and emotional dependence,

– a sexual misunderstanding…

In women, dissatisfaction is mainly related to a lack of affection and understanding on the part of the spouse. Whereas in men, it is above all sexual frustration and the aggressiveness of his partner.

In most cases, it is the search for the co-responsibility of each, sometimes with the support of a therapist, which makes it possible to better understand why such an act was performed and to decide together what to do next.

How to rebuild then?

In order to break this vicious circle of reproaches, aggressiveness and therefore withdrawal and lack of pleasure, it is preferable to encourage a virtuous circle in the couple by replacing reproaches as much as possible with encouragement. You can also work on everyone’s autonomy by taking time for yourself regularly in order to generate enthusiasm for reunions.

Finally, working on creativity, even after several years of relationship by surprising the other and regularly sharing surprises, allows you to have fun together and create your own marital happiness.

Read more: “Infidelity: Why does it happen? How to get over it? Should we forgive?”, by Jean-Claude Maes, Eyrolles editions.