In 2022, 147 women were killed by their spouse or ex.
- Domestic violence is a method of domination used most often against women.
- It is the culmination of a mechanism that takes hold gradually.
- It is essential to recognize the sole responsibility of the aggressor in this violence.
Domestic violence is much more than a simple loss of control on the part of a partner. It is actually a method of domination, used most of the time on women who are victims of it. Understanding the cycle of violence is a first step towards recognizing the situation and finding a solution to end it.
The destructive cycle of domestic violence.
If each experience of conjugal violence is unique, the mechanism generally sets in the same way, progressive and cyclical. Repeating over time, it accelerates becoming more and more intense and dangerous:
– Tensions: the violent spouse begins to show frequent anger, irritability and sometimes expresses his dissatisfaction by silence. By his behavior, he generates worry and guilt in his victim who does everything to avoid provoking his anger.
– Assaults: the spouse takes action with violence of various kinds (verbal, physical, sexual, humiliation, etc.) plunging his victim into deep distress to maintain his domination.
– The justification: after the aggression, the violent spouse justifies his behavior by minimizing what happened and above all by rejecting the responsibility on his victim. She has no choice but to show understanding and may even feel responsible.
– The honeymoon: the abusive spouse apologizes and promises not to behave this way again. He becomes caring and kind again, giving hope to his victim that things will change and that the relationship can become pleasant again.
Unfortunately, this phase of appeasement does not last and the cycle begins again, accelerating more and more.
How to get out of the cycle of domestic violence?
Domestic violence is never okay and no one deserves to be abused. As a victim, it is important to be able to find help and support through the many resources available, including crisis lines, women’s shelters and specialized associations that can help get out of this dangerous situation.
It is also crucial to recognize that the responsibility for spousal abuse rests solely with the abuser. The victim is not responsible for the violent acts committed by his spouse, regardless of the justifications he seeks to give.
Find out more: arretonslesviolences.gouv.fr/besoin-d-aide
