A new study points to the role play and playfulness play in the longevity of romantic relationships.
- As a couple, practicing play and playfulness helps strengthen the bonds of positive emotions, which has the effect of contributing to its longevity.
- Couples who weave a bond based on play promote communication, trust and complicity between partners.
The game is not just for children. When practiced within the couple by adults, it would even be the key to the longevity of the relationship, bringing confidence, satisfaction, spontaneity, curiosity and creativity to romantic exchanges.
That’s according to a new study by researchers at Martin Luther University of Halle-Wittenberg in Germany, who investigated the link between dating gambling and successful romantic relationships. Their findings have just been published in the journal Social and Personality Psychology Compass.
The game, a powerful communication tool
According to the authors of the study, play and playfulness within the couple not only contribute to strengthening the bonds between partners and positive emotions, but also promote social skills. By playing with our partner, we also communicate better with him, which increases relationship satisfaction.
“Playful behaviors such as surprising the partner, retelling and re-enacting common experiences with the partner, or jointly forming new experiences often contribute to the happiness and longevity of relationships”explains first author Kay Brauer, a psychology researcher at the Martin Luther University of Halle-Wittenberg.
For the authors, playfulness thus encourages the experience of positive emotions and could be linked to potential biological processes, such as the activation of hormones and certain brain circuits. It also influences the way people communicate and interact with each other, for example by helping to manage stress and resolve interpersonal tensions. All of these can impact relationship satisfaction and trust, and ultimately relationship longevity.
A pledge of complicity
Asked by the site Inverse.comKay Brauer gives some tips for injecting play into your romantic relationship: “Playful people often engage in ways that help reinvent and redefine their relationship. For example, surprising the partner, assigning them playful nicknames or secret language, re-enacting shared experiences, or teasing the partner of ‘in a light-hearted way. It helps both partners develop feelings of safety, intimacy and closeness.’
According to the researcher, the game is not just fun. It also takes on a deeper dimension by promoting trust and communication in the couple. So being playful can help express emotions, frustrations, or longings that you wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing otherwise.
He also believes that it does not matter if one of the partners is more focused on the game than the other. “What we find in our data is that the playfulness of partner A often matches that of partner level B. However, the happiness of couples is not determined by their similarity per se but by how each partner uses his playfulness the relationship”concludes the researcher.
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