Anne van der Veen, psychologist

When you are in such a hurry, pay attention to what thoughts and feelings make you haste; which makes you run. For example, do you often think in terms of ‘should’ or ‘not allowed’. Or do the words ‘just a little bit this, a little bit that’ often pop into your head?

Then check if those thoughts are correct. Do you really have to do it? Is it really necessary? Did you impose it on yourself, or is there really some sort of necessity? Do I need that rush for something or something? Often the answer is no, so stress you out for nothing. Feel how your body is already calming down when you realize that it is not really necessary.

And to what extent are you not allowed to do something? Is it true that others tell you that? Or do you rather say that to yourself? Feel how your body reacts when you think that things are especially not allowed by you. And that you yourself are the one who tells you that it is indeed allowed!

Often thinking that you will do something ‘just’, ‘soon’, ‘quickly’ (or worse: have to do something) makes your body restless. While it is not necessary at all! You often have enough time. But your body believes every thought. And so will respond to the thoughts. The result: a rushed feeling where it is not necessary at all.

What can you do: every time you have thoughts of ‘just for a while’. Then correct yourself and repeat the thought, but leave it out for a while. The thought ‘I have to do this for a while’ becomes: I’m going to do this. Feel your body relax, because this thought is also believed.

If you want to analyze yourself more, ask yourself: ‘Who benefits from my must and may not?’ But above all ‘Who is bothered by my need?’ (I). “Who benefits from me doing this for a little while?” ‘Who is bothered by me doing everything for a while..?’ (I).

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