In a couple, it can happen to feel what is called internal signals. In other words, we can have an intuition because in fact our unconscious will pick up a certain number of signs that our conscious does not decode. And that leaves a trace that translates into a weird feeling of unease. “Something seems to bother us… we’re not going to rely on very precise things because it’s a bit of a sensory perception that guides us like an intuition… That doesn’t happen on the conscious plan.. We also perceive behavioral changes in our partner…. and that, we will notice it… it’s more conscious”decrypts Géraldyne Prévôt-Gigant, psychotherapist.
In general, we will observe certain signs: less proximity, communication that will become different, a schedule that changes, availability that declines, etc. All these visible clues show that something is wrong.
Beware of interpretations
But beware, the discovery of these signs should not lead to hasty conclusions, and it often happens that there are misunderstandings or things left unsaid whose effects can be formidable. “Someone who is used to being very demonstrative and who is more distant in terms of his tenderness is not necessarily someone who cheats on you. It may also mean that there is a more serious problem which is sometimes hard to talk about. It can be an illness, a problem at work, etc. that’s why you have to be very careful in interpreting the things you notice in your partner”, warns the specialist.
If it is important to notice a change in behavior in his partner, it is essential to be wary of interpretations because there may be other explanations. The only solution is obviously to start a conversation to try to understand what is wrong. Our partner can hide something from us, but not necessarily a deception.
Talk about the discomfort felt and observe the reaction
Communication remains the basis in a couple. Already, you have to know if he agrees to talk about it or not. “If he runs away, or gets angry, that can be a clue that there may be a fault”, specifies the psychotherapist. Sometimes communication is impossible because the partner does not assume and wants to keep hiding. The best way to do this is to explain that you are feeling something unwell and ask if there is anything wrong.
Especially not to say “I saw you have such and such an attitude so I’m sure you’re cheating on me”. This is where we’re going to close all communication because the partner will inevitably turn. After all, it depends on each person’s character and the couple relationship that exists. Some will find the refusal to speak unbearable, while others will put up with the situation without reacting. Others will be able to feel humiliated or rejected by not feeling listened to or willing to communicate face to face.
How to move forward?
If we are certain that our partner is unfaithful to us, either because he admitted it during the conversation, or because we have convincing clues and not assumptions, it is extremely difficult to give rules or advice. We just have one thing to do, it’s to face ourselves for a thorough introspection. Do we love each other enough to have to go through this? “This is the essential question to ask”, concludes Géraldyne Prévôt Gigant. Especially if we discover that it is not a passing fancy, but a relationship that lasts. In any case, it is essential to think about yourself, about what you want or want more, before making any decision.
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