A study reveals that actively providing support to a loved one who needs it helps to reinforce their positive feelings and therefore to feel better.
- Validating a loved one’s feelings of anger and giving them psychological support helps them reinforce their positive feelings and feel better, according to a study of more than 300 college students.
When a close friend or family member is upset or angry, comforting them with their presence and letting them know that you understand what they are going through is not incidental: it helps reinforce their positive feelings and promotes their resilience.
This is demonstrated by a new study conducted by researchers at the University of Ohio (United States), and published in the Journal of Positive Psychology.
Positive affect and negative affect
To reach this conclusion, the authors studied the positive and negative emotions of more than 300 college students using three experiments involving what clinicians call positive and negative affect. Positive affect refers to emotions and expression that promote curiosity, connection to others, and flexibility of thought. Negative affect engenders feelings of disgust, fear, or sadness.
Students began by completing positive and negative affect questionnaires at the start and end of the study. They were also asked to describe their general mood during the experiments. Finally, they were asked to reflect and write for five minutes about a time when they were intensely angry and then describe those feelings out loud.
One of the research team members then had the role of either validating or invalidating their feelings of anger with phrases such as “Of course what you experienced was upsetting” or “Why did that he angry?
The researchers then found that when they thought or wrote about the situation that upset them, the students showed a decrease in positive affect. However, those who had their feelings validated by a researcher quickly felt better. Which was not the case for those whose feelings were not validated by a support sentence. On the contrary, the mood of the latter generally deteriorated.
Applying those positive feelings in therapy
For Jennifer Cheavens, professor of psychology, lead author of the work, this shows the value of positive words in the event of negative feelings. “We spend a lot of time thinking about how to remedy negative emotions, but we don’t spend a lot of time thinking about helping people tap into and nurture their positive emotions, she explains. IHelping people overcome their depression, anxiety and fear is really important, but it’s also important to help people tap into their curiosity, love, flexibility and optimism. People can feel sad and overwhelmed, but also hopeful and curious, within the same general time frame.”
The researchers now plan to apply the findings in therapy.
“Validation protects people’s affect so they can stay curious in their interpersonal interactions and in therapy. Adding validation to therapy helps people feel understood, and when we feel understood, we can receive feedback on how we might change as well. But this is not just a clinical topic: often the same ways to improve therapy are ways to improve parenting, friendships and romantic relationships”concludes Jennifer Cheavens.
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