Giving a gift at Christmas is not insignificant and can send a strong psychological message. Explanations.
Even if Christmas gifts are above all a tradition, they also reflect a more or less unconscious message about one’s own personality or the person to whom they are offered. To decipher their hidden meaning, it is important to analyze why this gift is given, how it is received, and what is expected in return.
Why do we give gifts?
Beyond religion or the tradition of gifts under the Christmas tree, offering is showing an emotional bond with the other, especially in the family or friendly sphere.
To make a present is to give a part of oneself and to reveal oneself. This is why people who are less comfortable with gifts may actually struggle with their own emotions, or because of their modesty.
How is the gift received?
The reception of a very expensive, very modest gift or an avalanche of presents will not be the same according to the expectations or the relationship: the feeling of unease when one does not feel up to the one who gives; disappointment because of a different expectation; surprise in the face of an unexpected gift or the expression of the affection of a loved one and indifference in the face of a gift that is unpleasant or has no particular symbolism.
The reaction of the recipient of the gift is therefore not always related to its real value, but rather to its emotional significance and expectations.
What do you expect in return for a gift?
We usually offer to experience emotional pleasure. There is always a bit of self in the gifts we give. For example, we offer what we would have liked to receive, what we did not receive in childhood, or what we think the other will love in order to love us better in return.
Accepting a gift is not trivial either. It’s having enough self-esteem to allow yourself to receive, but it’s also feeling indebted. Exchanging is an opportunity to see if the other has understood us.
The secret of a successful present therefore lies both in the feelings of the one who gives it, but also of the one who receives it.
Find out more: Roger Fiammetti, “Christmas anxiety”, Pocket edition.
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