Why are children sometimes aggressive?

At any age, it is normal for the child to be able to express aggression from time to time, especially in the smallest children. Some parts of his brain are not developed enough, he needs adults to learn how to control himself better.

What does aggression mean to him?

Aggressive behavior is explained in children by a lack of cerebral maturity which does not yet give them sufficient capacity to reason and communicate without violence. As he grows, he also shows less and less physical aggression because he realizes that he can hurt with violent gestures.

It is therefore for him a means of communication to claim more attention or affection. Aggression can also be expressed by mimicry of aggressive behavior of adults or children, or to express concern about changes (arrival of a younger brother or sister, separation, bereavement, change of school…).

This behavior, just like in adults, can also appear in case of fatigue or overstimulation after a long period of play, for example. Finally, we can observe him during severe punishments or when he understands that he gets what he wants with his hostile behavior.

What if he is aggressive?

The adult’s behavior in the face of aggression allows him to help him control his emotions. This is why it is imperative to lead by example by remaining calm and firm and by indicating to him that his behavior is not acceptable. Explain to him the consequences of his action and encourage him to express himself in simple words about what he feels.

You can also ask him to console the person he hit, for example, or ask him to step back for a while to calm down.

If really after 3 years you still notice frequent aggressiveness, do not hesitate to consult a health professional to better understand what is happening.

Find out more: “Aggression in children from 0 to 5 years old”, by Sylvie Bourcier, CHU Sainte Justine editions.