A child who hits himself and is often overwhelmed by his emotions.
It happens that the little ones hurt themselves voluntarily by banging their heads or slapping their hands, for example. Even if this behavior can be worrying for the parents, it very often reflects a frustration that the child cannot express otherwise.
What happens when a child hits himself?
Children, especially at a young age, have difficulty expressing their emotions or frustration. Hurting themselves allows them to physically express and feel anger, without seriously hurting themselves.
Although it may seem strange, they feel a real relief with this behavior which allows them to distract themselves from their frustration.
How to react when a child hits himself?
Watching your child hurt themselves can be painful for the parent. Still, it’s important to stay calm and avoid getting angry.
The important thing here is to encourage him to verbalize his emotions. Don’t hesitate to put words to what he feels, such as “you’re angry” or “it’s hard to be frustrated”. Stay close to him throughout the crisis by speaking to him in a reassuring voice. You can place between him and the hard surface a carpet or a word object so that he does not hurt himself.
Don’t try to stop him from hitting himself by holding back these gestures because it could aggravate his anger. Instead, ask him what he needs to calm down: a hug, his cuddly toy, or even a book, for example.
And after ?
After the crisis, do not hesitate to put words on what he has just experienced: “it was a very big anger!” Or “next time, tell me if you feel the anger rising in you”.
You can also help her come up with ideas to better vent her frustration next time. For example, take a deep breath then blow hard, hit a pillow, or go for a run.
It is important to help your child understand that their emotions are normal, including negative emotions, and that we have the right to express them. So it doesn’t make sense to punish him for being angry. With your help, he will gradually manage to express his emotion in ways other than hitting himself.
Find out more: “Activities to soothe my frustration” by Louison Nielman and Thierry Manes, Fleurus editions.
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