Helping your child to develop your self -esteem is one of the most important missions of parents.
Helping your child to feel capable goes through clear and positive instructions, a secure framework and constant support. Each interaction is an opportunity to show him that he is competent and trustworthy.
Understand your child’s needs
To make your child feel capable, he needs clear rules and adapted to his age. These rules, which are not constraints but rather benchmarks, allow him to understand what is expected of him.
However, for him to want to collaborate, it is essential that he seizes the sense of instructions and that they are formulated in a positive way. For example, instead of saying “does not shout”, you can encourage appropriate behavior with a sentence like “speaks very slowly”. In this way, you reduce frustrations linked to instructions that can be restrictive since you are oriented attention to what can be accomplished.
The importance of positive instructions
Using positive instructions is a powerful way to help your child feel competent. By emphasizing what he can do, you avoid focusing his attention on his inappropriate errors or behaviors. For example, if he jumps on the sofa, offer him an alternative like “sit on the sofa” rather than saying “does not jump on the sofa”. You show him that you believe in his abilities.
For the little ones, it is a good way to help them control their impulses since you guide calmly and with kindness.
Put down without pressure
Parental support is an essential pillar to help a child feel capable. Take the time to value their efforts, even if they do not immediately lead to a perfect result. For example, if your child tries to put away his toys but that he doesn’t completely, congratulate his initiative rather than criticizing what has not been done.
Spending quality moments together, such as reading a story or drawing, also strengthens the emotional bond and encourages it to collaborate naturally.
Find out more: “I can do it! The big book of self -confidence” by Stéphanie Couturier and Églantine Ceulemans