Children’s lies are not a threat, but a natural stage in their learning.
Around the age of 2, it is not uncommon for toddlers to tell stories that do not reflect reality. These lies, often innocent, are a normal phenomenon of child development. However, many parents wonder about these behaviors and how to respond to them.
Lies, a normal part of development
Between 2 and 5 years old, children do not always clearly distinguish reality from imagination. They may lie to avoid punishment or for fear of disappointing, for example by denying breaking an object. These behaviors do not reflect malicious intent, but rather a clumsy attempt to deal with an uncomfortable situation.
Sometimes their lies are part of their desire to make people laugh or stimulate their imagination. They can invent fantastic stories which often reflect their dreams and desires. It is important to encourage this creativity while helping them distinguish fiction from reality.
Understand the reasons for lies
Depending on the context, a child may lie out of a need for protection, attention or to assert their autonomy. For example, he may want to feel valued in front of his friends or hide an action he regrets, for fear of being scolded.
If lies result in strong or disproportionate responses from adults, the child may become more afraid of telling the truth. On the other hand, recognizing his emotions encourages him to express himself honestly. It is important to first congratulate him for his honesty before discussing the consequences and solutions together.
Encouraging the truth in a caring environment
To help a child abandon lies, it is essential to value the truth on a daily basis. Explain to him why it is important, using simple and positive examples, but also by leading by example: children learn by observing.
In the event of a lie, react calmly and curiously by asking him why he lied and putting his emotions into words: “Were you afraid that I would be angry?”, or “Did you want ‘do we notice you?’ This strengthens mutual understanding and helps your child think about his or her actions.
Find out more: “Children’s Lies” by Paul Ekman.