The decrease in sexual desire or hypoactive sexual desire (DSH) is the most complex disorder in sexology. There is no magic solution, the causes can be very varied. In your case, obviously, this libido falling is not because you no longer love your husband or that you no longer like your husband. That’s a good point, because in some couples that’s the problem.
Take stock of your health
Are you taking any medications that may decrease your desire? If you are undergoing treatment, read the leaflets very carefully. The birth control pills, for example, can have an impact on libido, because they lower the level of testosterone, a hormone essential for female desire. The most negative in this regard are those containing cyproterone acetate (a progestin) and all the pills that are prescribed to fight against acne. The solution if the pill is in question, it is the choice of a copper IUD (without hormones).
Or, possibly, the decision of a tubal ligation, if you do not wish to have any more children.
Are you suffering from depression? This disease decreases sexual desire. In this case, you need to be treated, with medication and, ideally, also with psychotherapy and physical exercise.
Perhaps significant chronic fatigue is also involved? Because it has the same effect on libido as depression. Thus, young women who have several young children are often exhausted … and little “wanting”.
Ask yourself questions about your relationship
Do you resent your husband? It is a very common cause of decreased sexual desire. There is a competition between feelings. If your resentment is stronger than your desire, it may gradually suffocate it … The remedy is then to burst the abscess, which is sometimes old and deep. I remember a patient who still resented her husband for pushing her to have an abortion soon after they met. He had never realized how much this gesture had marked her. Talking about this trauma in their relationship allowed them to meet again …
Do you feel overwhelmed by the your husband’s libido ? He seems to be significantly more in demand than you. Sometimes that’s what happens in couples. If his desire is constantly expressed, he does not give yours time to appear. To get around this difficulty, I often ask partners to each choose their week. For a week, it’s the lady who decides when to have sex. And the next one is sir. This allows, during your week, your desire to flourish …
Do you have a personal story that may be blocking your sexual desire? It can be events (aggression, mockery, unhappy experience…), complexes (kilos taken during pregnancy, feeling of being ugly…) or an education that is too rigid. It is then useful to start therapy with a shrink.
