Premature ejaculation: a therapy to slow down the tempo

The vast majority of premature ejaculatory men are affected by primary premature ejaculation. Since the beginning of their sexual life, systematically and with each partner, “it goes away too quickly”, shortly after penetration or sometimes even before penetration. We then speak of ejaculation ante portas.
The other men began to ejaculate too quickly after first experiencing harmonious sexual relations. We speak this time of secondary premature ejaculation. Secondary to what? Has a stressful event, couple or work problems, another sexual problem such as erectile dysfunction, more rarely a disease (genital infection or hyperthyroidism in particular)…

Ejaculating too fast, what does that mean?

Among men who declared themselves as having normal ejaculation, various international studies have shown that the average duration of penetration during sexual intercourse was 7 to 9 minutes (regardless of the country).

Premature ejaculation, whether primary or secondary, almost always occurs 1 to 3 minutes at most after penetration. Sometimes even immediately, upon undressing or during foreplay, before any penetration.

“In any case, the man does not decide the moment of ejaculation, he does not control it, he is caught off guard and he suffers from it, explains Professor Pierre Costa, president of the FF3S (French Federation of Sexology and Sexual Health).

Consider comprehensive treatment

Repeated distress on the part of the man, frustration on the part of his partner, electroshock on the couple. Faced with all these consequences, it is recommended to consult a sexologist. You can go alone or as a couple if the process does not seem impossible. There is a specific drug for premature ejaculation (a serotonin reuptake inhibitor) that can increase the duration of ejaculation three to four times. It is appreciable but not sufficient. Numbing cream can also help. It is applied to the crown of the glans one hour before intercourse. It can be found in pharmacies on prescription. Be careful, this cream usually used for small surgical procedures has nothing to do with the products sold in sex shops, which are under-dosed and therefore ineffective!

For many couples if we stop there, the account is not there. Ejaculation still comes too quickly.

The pressure cooker that decompresses

“In premature ejaculation, there is always great anxiety, a loss of self-esteem and physical tension,” says Professor Pierre Costa. Medication brings improvement but does not cure. It is therefore necessary to add a real sexological therapy. Sometimes it will be psychological work on stress and anxiety, sometimes more physical work”.

What very few men and sometimes doctors know is that by dint of enjoying too quickly, a conditioned reflex is set up which persists even when the anxiety has disappeared. It is therefore essential to “reprogram” yourself and re-educate your ejaculatory reflex. For this, behavioral techniques such as “squeezing” (pinching the brake) or “stop and go” can help delay ejaculation.

The small means fair

On the web, there are a plethora of tricks to slow down the tempo: delaying condoms tightened at their ends, breathing or meditation exercises, ejaculation just before the appointment… “All of this can work, admits Professor Pierre Costa, but not in everyone. The danger would be to be satisfied with this without understanding and dealing with the global phenomenon.
Premature ejaculation is just the tip of the iceberg. Below, there remains the underlying anxiety and the difficulty of positioning oneself in relation to the partner. A sex therapist will take into account all the elements of the problem”.