Parents usually make children believe that Santa Claus exists, but this beautiful story remains a lie that can taint the confidence of the youngest.
- Nicolas de Myre, a wealthy bishop born in 270 AD, distributed gifts and food to the poorest at night and was canonized by the church which resulted in Saint Nicholas Day, 6 December.
- In 1821, Clement Clarke Moore, an American pastor, published The Night before Christmas, a Christmas tale in which Saint Nicholas is presented as an elf who distributes gifts with his flying sleigh pulled by reindeer.
- The Night before Christmas is translated and published all over the world and it is the start of the Santa Claus myth.
It’s a beautiful story, in which many of us believed: Santa Claus prepares gifts for children around the world and distributes them on the night of December 24 to 25. In the morning, the children rush under the tree to find out which packages are in their name. But this beautiful tale is actually a lie, perhaps even the first lie parents tell their children. And this is not without consequences.
Santa’s lie can taint trust
According to a study published in the journal Lancet Psychiatry, the relationship of trust built between children and parents can be damaged by this lie from Santa Claus. “The morality of making children believe in such myths must be questioned, explains Christopher Boyle, one of the authors. All children will eventually find out that they have been lied to for years, and this might lead them to wonder what other lies they have been told. (…) It is also interesting to wonder whether lying in this way is going to affect children in a way that has not been envisaged“.
If the story is beautiful, it can also be a source of anxiety and insecurity for the youngest. Indeed, this Santa Claus who knows all the facts and gestures, without being there, can be worrying. Thus, it is better to banish the phrase “if you are not wise, you will not have gifts” because it reinforces this negative feeling and is based on blackmail which is not a good solution to obtain something from a child.
Moreover, young children do not make the difference between reality and the imaginary. Making him believe in Santa Claus therefore does not contribute to developing his imagination: it is the parents who imagine it, the children, they really believe in it.
If your child already believes in Santa Claus, when should you tell him the truth? Generally, the suspicions arrive between 6 and 10 years, under the impulse of the classmates. As soon as these doubts are there, in general, disenchantment occurs quickly. The ideal is that the parents seize this question as soon as they see that the moment has arrived. The goal is for the truth to be told in a gentler way than at school.
Keeping some lies to avoid emotional shock
The discovery of this truth is often the first experience to come out of early childhood and thus experience reality which is sometimes different from beliefs. “Those for whom the transition has not been smooth and who are teased at school will think that their parents have betrayed them and may resent them, explains Anne Bacus, psychologist, to magicmom. But most children understand. They now feel bigger, and are happy to have entered “the adult secret”. Often, in the last year, the children still pretend to believe it. They want to please their parents, but also keep a part of the magic. Because not believing in Santa Claus anymore is a way to get out of early childhood”.
But be careful, once the child knows that Santa Claus doesn’t exist, there’s no reason to tell him everything. Some researchers explain that you have to continue to lie to your children when the goal is to avoid too much emotional shock. For example, when a pet dies like a rabbit, it is better to wrap the truth by explaining that it went to live in rabbit heaven rather than explaining that it was run over by a car or that it died. fled.
