But who is the orgasm?
Elise Sequalino, student in sexology, replies: “Orgasm is two things: a bodily phenomenon of spastic discharges and a pleasant perception in the state of consciousness” (Yes, having an orgasm without feeling the pleasure of it, blah !)
We generally distinguish theclitoral orgasm which manifests as swelling of the clitoris of thevaginal orgasm which manifests itself by a stimulation of the point G. Although some authors defend the idea according to which these two orgasms are linked and simultaneous.
“There are a lot of different orgasms available to women” explains Elise Sequalino. “There are several types … Whether they are clitoral or vaginal, orgasms can be long, short, intense, weak, precise or global …”
In short, you will understand, orgasm is all sensations and their opposites. It makes you want, right?
>> Also discover the testimonials on your best orgasms
Statistics ? We forget !
Because often they are daunting and are (a bit) hogwash. We can’t count each other’s orgasms. Because they are all very different, they depend on our age, our experience, our partner.
Statistics are a bad reflection of women: they put you in a box. Not having an orgasm doesn’t mean you belong to the (supposedly) 70% of women who don’t know it. Because tomorrow we can belong to the 30% who enjoy it. So eh.
“The orgasm exists and all women (all yes) potentially and really have a panel of orgasms at their disposal“supports Gérard Leleu, sexologist. Unlike men (this is how life goes).
The orgasm exists and you will meet it by following our advice.
>> Find out how to work your orgasm
Does clitoral orgasm matter?
Oh yes, and not just a little! It’s an orgasm in its own right. “We have doubted for so long, it’s because of Freud… who for 130 years made women almost ashamed to experience (only) clitoral orgasm” Gérard Leleu tells us.
Why ? “Because the famous psychoanalyst claimed that only mature women experience vaginal orgasm. And that the clitoral brings together immature women.”
False, archi false, manners have evolved. “Today, the main thing is to have fun and merge with your partner“It doesn’t matter, it seems, the final fireworks display.
>> To read also: Orgasm: should we simulate or not?
Why is vaginal orgasm a mystery?
Clitoral orgasm is familiar to you ? Area much more accessible than the vagina since puberty, you have explored the said clitoris in a different way and learned how to cum. It’s that simple.
While thevaginal education, This is another thing. “With more obstacles from puberty, we take fewer initiatives in terms of masturbation” explains Gérard Leleu. “It’s like sleeping beauty” … Unstimulated, dozing, the vagina remains and awaits Prince Charming.
The years go by and here we have his first sexual intercourse. In other words: the prince charming arrives in our life and here he wakes up our vaginal mucosa so little accosted (of the big game).
Except that :
– “The prince charming does not always know about it and makes love in a mechanical way” explains Gérard Leleu. No added value for our vagina which does not discover new sensations.
– Prince Charming, we rarely find him the first time. So you have to try several charming princes before experiencing vaginal orgasm. That is to say : time, experience and partners will reveal to you what you always wanted to know.
>> Discover other pictures on sexuality with Dr Leleu
How to trigger orgasm? (Our secrets !)
Use sex toys
The ideal, therefore, is to get ahead of Prince Charming (which may take a long time to come): learn to stimulate your vagina on your own. So solution: sextoys! This fabulous toy will become your best ally. And it is by dint of training that we progress.
Talk to the man
(But be careful, we do not know what we are attacking) “Explain to him that he ejaculates … too fast”, advises Gérard Leleu.
The idea is there: “Honey, let’s talk about it, you squirt in three minutes (without laughing, like most men) and I need time to reach an orgasm, more time.”
Not to be said like that, of course. It’s up to you to find the words according to the temperament of your spouse. Without offending him, under touching his virility. Ouch.
Trigger orgasm in positions
1: doggy style is THE position to practice urgently to achieve vaginal orgasm. Psychically, already, it’s a “trick”: it’s oddly erotic, it multiplies the pleasure. And physically, penetration has everything to find your point G. Champagne! To practice again and again (It’s like the license, we don’t all have it the first time!)
2: sit on him
Your man lying on his back, sit on him. So, you are the queen. You manage: speed, depth. You decide and set the ideal pace.
Basic rule: stimulate your clitoris (or your nipples) at the same time. It is a precious help, a kind of transfer of clitoral pleasure to the vagina. “The multiplication of sensations is the ideal” explains Gérard Leleu.
3: the rider at the helm (more or less)
Lie on your back, curled up and knees against your shoulders with a cushion under your buttocks while the man is kneeling in front of you. The penetration will be deeper. To test very quickly!
De-stress
Orgasm is self-surrender. As for stress, it creates adrenaline: it’s quite simply anti-pleasure!
Seek a lot of appeasement from your man. “Tender words when you come home from work tense, caresses (non-sexual) to relax you” advises Gérard Leleu. These moments allow you to release endorphins and serotonins, positive hormones.
Meeting the orgasm is in your power: “But it depends a lot on your state of mind, your capacity to fantasize, your way of letting yourself go” observes Elise Sequalino, student in sexology. Do not hesitate to read our article: 6 tips to be well in bed.
And the orgasm came
(And there was light)
Now you know everything you need to do to orgasm. He lies dormant in you.
But don’t forget: the orgasm must be sought but… without seeking itself (like love, right? Secretly, we wait for it but it must not become an obsession, we will scare away the first comer).
A little patience, it is by forging that you become a blacksmith!
>> To continue your quest, discover our 5 shameful questions about orgasm
