Love is not a long calm river. When you have been in a relationship for a long time, it is normal, several times during your life, to feel attracted to another man, and sometimes in a very powerful way.
Can you love one man and desire another?
Why ? Simply because, if you have made your life with your husband, he is not the only man on earth who can attract you. We all have multiple possible lives. This type of attraction is therefore inevitable over time. The real question is rather: how are you going to manage it? Many women or men feel embarrassed or even horrified by this feeling. Feeling a strong guilt, they try to escape it. But this defensive reaction is often ineffective.
What to do when you want someone other than the loved one?
Tell yourself that you are not alone in this situation.
All women living in a relationship for a long time go through this one day or another. And all men too! This is also a key moment for love, when you decide to continue to choose your husband or wife as your life partner.
Start by accepting this attraction. If you are attracted to a man, it means that you are a woman in good sexual health, that your libido is working. It’s a good sign ! Do even more: learn to appreciate this feeling, since it is positive, pleasant and exciting. But if I advise you this strategy, it is not to push you into the arms of another man, quite the contrary.
Don’t try to bottle up your feelings… If you try to ban them, this ban will increase their appeal. It’s a bit like your brain telling you: “Won’t you listen to me? I am attracted and, as you seem not to want to understand, I am going to increase this attraction so that you hear it. » It is therefore essential to “acknowledge” and admit it: yes, it is true, you are attracted, yes, it is pleasant… and no, you do not want to give in to it.
Do not try to deny this attraction, even if it bothers you. This may be a key moment, from which your couple will emerge stronger… … but without becoming a slave to it. Just because you feel something for another man doesn’t necessarily mean you have to act on it. Remember that you have a choice, so you can keep your freedom. And, since you still love your husband, you also have a choice to continue to love him. Do not seek to actively fantasize about this man. By voluntarily provoking erotic daydreams, by mentally feeding this attraction, you risk increasing it and thus putting your couple in danger. Accept the thoughts that comewithout maintaining them with complacency.
Direct your desire for another person to your husband. With a little finesse, it is quite possible. For an intelligent woman, feeling attracted to another man can become a fun and exciting experience, an opportunity to boost her life as a couple with the man she loves. This is called sexual intelligence! And then, keep your feelings to yourself. Above all, don’t talk about it to this man so as not to get into a dangerous game for two, or to your husband so as not to hurt him. It’s your secret garden and you have a right to it…
For further
In bed, I sometimes fake it, do I tell him or not?
