Your child seeks your attention to feel loved, valued and important.
- Whether it’s clowning around while you cook dinner or asking for one last kiss before bed, your child’s every gesture reflects their fundamental need to be seen and appreciated.
- It is sometimes difficult to meet this constant demand, so it is common for your child to intensify his efforts to be noticed, sometimes through less desirable behaviors.
- Several strategies can help you respond to this on a daily basis: preparing meals together, tidying up, positive attention from you, etc.
A child’s quest for attention is a natural call for recognition and love. Whether it’s clowning around while you cook dinner or asking for one last kiss before bed, your child’s every gesture reflects their fundamental need to be seen and appreciated.
Recognize the need for attention
Attention is not about quantity; it is its quality that is crucial. Your child seeks to capture your gaze and share his discoveries to nourish his self-esteem. No matter the activity, it’s important to capture these moments by simply being present.
However, it can be difficult to keep up with this constant demand, especially if your attention is divided between multiple tasks. It is then common for your child to intensify his efforts to be noticed, sometimes through less desirable behaviors, thus seeking a form of attention, even negative.
The importance of positive attention
Practicing positive attention means recognizing and valuing your child’s behaviors and successes. This ranges from praising him when he puts his toys away to expressing your pride when he plays calmly.
The idea is to nourish his self-confidence and strengthen his sense of belonging. Plus, it teaches patience and wait management, which can be helpful when your availability is limited. Encouraging these behaviors allows us to see certain behaviors repeated, for healthy and respectful communication.
Strategies for meeting attention needs
Meeting your child’s attention needs requires consistency and creativity. From a young age, children respond to praise and recognition. It is therefore important to integrate gestures of affection and approval into everyday life, whether through a smile, a wave of the hand or a compliment.
You can also involve your child in daily activities, such as meal preparation or tidying up, which can become a source of positive shared attention. Finally, taking a moment to chat or play after a day apart can go a long way toward satisfying this basic need.
Find out more: “Small illustrated decoder for children in crisis: Particularly suitable for parents of hypersensitive children (HPI, ADHD, ASD, Dys…)” by Anne-Claire Kleindienst and Lynda Corazza.
