Sulking is a behavior that often hides an ocean of unexpressed emotions.
- Sulking in a child is not a simple whim: it is often a reflection of intense and complex emotions that he cannot express otherwise (anger, pain, frustration, stress, etc.).
- It is most often found in children aged 5 to 8 for whom verbalizing their emotions can be particularly difficult, leading them to sulk to signal their discomfort.
- To help your child, it is important to talk with him, listen to him and respect his space.
Crossed arms, closed mouth, lowered head and angry look are the signals that a child uses to express discomfort. As parents, adopting an attitude of listening, patience and encouragement can make all the difference.
Understanding Sulking
Sulking in a child is not a simple whim. On the contrary, it is often a reflection of intense and complex emotions that it cannot express otherwise. This can be anger, hurt, frustration or stress, which arises in a variety of situations.
The frustrating moment of having to stop playing to take a bath or a difficult situation experienced at daycare can be hidden behind a sulk. It is most often found in children aged 5 to 8 for whom verbalizing their emotions can be particularly difficult, leading them to sulk to signal their discomfort.
How to intervene when your child sulks?
Several steps are important to help your child during a sulking moment:
• Talk and listen: the first step in helping your child break his silence is to encourage him to talk about his emotions. Ask him open-ended questions to understand the source of his behavior. You can also help him by naming the emotions, with the help of a book or pictures; the goal being to help him feel understood and to open a dialogue.
• Respect their space: Sometimes a child needs time to be ready to talk. Respect this need by showing him that you are there for him when he decides to open up. A gentle reminder of your availability may be necessary to show him that you haven’t forgotten him and are still willing to listen.
How to avoid sulking with your friends?
If your child sulks around his friends, you can use role plays or descriptions of situations to help him understand and manage his emotions more appropriately. You can, for example, have him imagine that he is a superhero who must calmly express his frustration to a superhero friend who used his powers without asking. You can also simulate a situation where he is a veterinarian and you are an injured animal, and he needs to reassure you while he cares for you.
By showing empathy and offering concrete solutions, you can help him overcome his urge to withdraw into himself.
Find out more: “Gaston – I sulk” by Aurélie Chien Chow China.
