Mummy, mamita, papoume, papili… While more and more nicknames exist, the psychologist specializing in family issues Nathalie Parent explains the origin of this phenomenon and gives her precious advice so that the appellation of new grandparents parents suits everyone.
– Better Living Health: More and more diminutives exist for grandparents. What are the most fashionable names today?
Nathalie Parent- We now really find everything. But right now I see a lot of grandparents calling themselves “papa george” Or “Grandma Francoise” For example.
It is rather a good option, because sticking a traditional name to a first name allows the child to fully understand the genealogical tree of his family and thus to complete an important stage in his development.
– Why call yourself simply “Grandpa” Or “granny” could it be a problem today for some new grandparents?
Some new grandparents associate traditional nicknames with old age, which can be a problem if they don’t yet feel truly old or want to “stay young” in their head.
Others also remember that their own “Grandpa”, “granny”, “grandfather” Or “Grandmother” were quite distant, often using formal formalities to communicate with them. In this case, the desire to find a new nickname generally reflects the desire to be closer to one’s grandchildren than one’s own grandparents were.
Finally, some grandparents see the establishment of traditional names as a sort of “passing of the educational torch” to their child, which they are sometimes not quite ready to do yet.
– When you become a grandparent, should you find your nickname on your own or rather wait for the parents and the child to decide?
I think it’s more up to the parents to suggest a nickname, in agreement with the grandparents.
Afterwards, if the child finds on his own a name that suits everyone and makes sense to him, it must be left as such.
– Should we say it if thedesignation is not suitable ?
Absolutely, do not hesitate to clearly verbalize the problem. I invite you to tell the parents and to take the child back by gently suggesting something else, which gives for example: “I don’t like you calling me granny, call me granny instead, please”.
– Can the choice of a nickname create intra-family tensions?
Yes, this decision can quite often generate tension and things left unsaid, especially when it becomes a competitive issue between the four grandparents or the members of a blended family. In this specific case, I once again invite the parents to intervene, making each grandparent feel that they all have the same importance.
– Can diminutives take time to settle?
Absolutely. They evolve according to fashions and can change when the child grows up, especially when he starts talking.
