Accept your emotions, communicate with those around you and allow yourself certain rituals allow these symbolic days to be better experienced.
Mourning is a unique and personal process, which evolves over time. Important dates, such as birthdays or parties can be a source of sadness and nostalgia. Rather than trying to flee your emotions, it is essential to welcome them and find strategies to cross these moments with serenity.
Accept your emotions without guilt
It is normal to feel sorrow during important dates, even years after the loss of a loved one. Many people force themselves to hide their sadness so as not to worry those around them or for fear of being judged. However, there is nothing abnormal to experience lack, nostalgia or even anger.
Some people also feel guilt with the idea of enjoying an event without the missing close. However, continuing to live and feeling pleasure does not mean forgetting or lacking respect. On the contrary, it is a way of rebuilding while maintaining precious memories.
Surround yourself and communicate your needs
If some prefer loneliness to manage their sentence, others find comfort by sharing their emotions. It is important to express your needs without fear: whether it is to wish a moment of calm, want to talk about the deceased, or on the contrary, wanting to change your ideas.
Sometimes those around you don’t know how to react to someone in mourning. Explain what is good, or on the contrary what hurts, makes it possible to avoid misunderstandings and to respect your own pace.
Create new rituals to honor the memory
Transforming a painful day into a moment of meditation or sharing can provide comfort. You can for example light a candle, listen to special music or prepare the favorite dish for the deceased near.
These small rituals make it possible to make sense. They can evolve over time, according to everyone’s needs and emotions. The important thing is to remember that they are not there to rekindle pain, but to help transform sadness into a more peaceful emotion.
Find out more: “Say goodbye: Small psychological guide to mourning” by Francois Louboff.
