How to become a parent when you have been abused?

Having suffered physical or sexual abuse, witnessing domestic violence, drug or alcohol abuse or even mental health problems during childhood can leave traces in adulthood and raise doubts about one’s abilities as parents. . However, with support it is possible not to reproduce the same behaviors of which we have been the victim.

Become aware of your trauma

For many adult victims in their childhood, taking the first step of becoming aware of the traumas that have been experienced, possibly with the help of a professional, allows them to better understand their own emotions, and above all to find the means reduce negative impacts.

This first step towards taking a step back brings some relief to future parents who become aware of their full identity and can put in place the necessary changes in their lives so as not to reproduce the same thing.

Learn to parent differently

Having yourself experienced abuse during childhood can have long-term consequences, whether it is a state of exacerbated anxiety, hypervigilance, tendency to depression, irritability, mistrust or anger, for which it is important not to feel guilty. Asking for help with the support of a health or social sector professional allows you to learn step by step how to become a parent yourself to avoid reproducing the same family pattern.

Thus, striving to build a stable, reassuring, secure and supervised environment for oneself and one’s child makes it possible to provide the necessary good care, and in turn become a “good parent”.

Find out more: “After the abuse”, by Sarah Laporte-daube, editions of Man.