The fear of always choosing wrong
Do you know this? You are standing in front of the cereal shelf in the supermarket. Cruesli, muesli, cornflakes, granola, cereals, seeds, with fruits, without fruits, with added seeds, without… What to buy? Choice stress, we used to call it. Today it is called FOBO: fear of better options.
The abbreviation FOBO has been sent out into the world by The New York Times. If you suffer from FOBO, it means that you are compulsively looking for the best option. The best movie, the tastiest dish, the healthiest breakfast. Annoying, especially because it costs you a lot of time and it leaves you with a permanently dissatisfied feeling. So: what do you do about it?
More, better, more beautiful…
When it comes to everyday things, you can still laugh at your own indecision. It will be different if FOBO also plays tricks on you, for example when choosing an insurance policy, a house or a partner. If you keep thinking that there must be an even better insurance policy, an even nicer house or an even nicer partner somewhere, you create quite a problem for yourself. Never good enough, never satisfied, always looking for more, better, more beautiful – it can cause you a lot of anxiety and stress.
Abundance of choices
Barry Schwartz is an American psychologist who does a lot of research into the relationship between economics and psychology. He calls the fact that many people become restless and unhappy because of too many choices. In his book The Paradox of Choices (published in 2004, only available second-hand), Schwartz shows how we humans deal with the abundance of choices. According to him, too many choices lead to feelings of demotivation and stress. Some people are so bad at it that they block out completely when there are too many possibilities.
Deliberating and weighing to the wrong choice
People who keep deliberating and continuously chasing the best option are called maximizers – maximisers. These are the people because of FOBO and keep looking. In the end they make a choice, but they still doubt whether it was the right choice. Result: dissatisfaction. In addition, they blame themselves if their choice goes wrong. A choice of 4 insurance policies is actually easier for maximizers than a choice of 400 insurance policies. However, insurance companies – or breakfast cereal producers, or… – do not go along with this. They want to make their offer as broad as possible: the consumer must have something to choose from.
Learn from ‘good enough’
The maximizer can better see how his opponent: the satisfaction seeker – or the satisficer – deals with all those choices. This person makes his choices faster and is happy with ‘good enough’. The question is: how do you do that? In an article in the NRC, Arne Roets, professor of social psychology at the University of Ghent – answers this. With every choice you have to make, you have to ask yourself what the real importance is, he says. A nice breakfast is simply less important than a sweet partner and a nice home. If the choice is not so important, simply make a quick choice. Maybe you’ll get a pack of unappetizing breakfast cereals once in a while, but who cares?
Do something about it!
When it comes to important choices – for example those for insurance – then you must draw up a list of criteria in advance. If the insurance meets those criteria, then it is good. Also important, says Roets: limit yourself. You can choose from hundreds of insurance policies, but of course you don’t have to do that. Rather select five insurance policies and then make your choice. Roets’ last tip is as logical as it is difficult: don’t look back and don’t torment yourself with all those other options you’ve left behind. Yes, there is always something better to be found, but let’s face it: how long do you really want to keep looking for that? How much stress will that search cause you? And is it really worth it to you?
