Why don’t girls always have good memories of their first sexual encounter?
It depends on several factors. Girls tend to say yes to please, and having sex without feeling like it doesn’t work very well. About two in three girls experience pain during the first intercourse and only 5% have an orgasm during this time. Among other things, the vagina is not equipped to feel pleasure automatically. He is, in a way, “virgin” of sensations. A boy knows his penis, it is stimulated all his life: in his mother’s womb, when washing and exploring his body, in contact with clothes and, later, during masturbation. The girl is not used to penetration, even if she uses tampons. While 45% of them claim to have masturbated before the age of 18, there is often no penetration but only caresses.
What to do to improve the first reports?
The vagina is an area that takes a long time to wake up, it must be accepted. The proof: two thirds of women do not have a vaginal orgasm. The brain must learn to interpret certain signals. The main thing is to listen to yourself, to accept the signals of the body. I notice a certain aggressiveness: a lot of girls force themselves to masturbate, to use sex toys, to wax completely … They do not live in harmony with their sex whereas it is an area to be cherished. Sociologists have noticed that the best way for the first report to go well is to experience it with a fixed partner. If the first time is unsuccessful, the couple can take their time and start over without too much pressure.
Do parents have a role to play?
They can talk to their child from their own experience, without giving too many intimate details. They can provide examples using the technique of “I have a girlfriend who …” Thus, some messages like the contraception, the fear of being in pain, of bleeding, of not being up to the task and choosing the right time passes more easily. This discussion can help the teenager to stress less. Optionally, they can offer a book on this topic.