Do the twins still get along?

Whether they share the same genetic heritage for identical twins, or were born at the same time for fraternal twins, they are, however, individuals in their own right, just like their relationship, which can have ups and downs. Respecting their differences and their connection is important for their development.

A relationship between dominant and dominated

Even if the image of a perfect relationship between twins is often widespread, it is not uncommon, far from it, to see disagreement from childhood. In some couples, a “dominant” and “dominated” relationship develops depending on the activities and the context, reinforced by a status of inequality.

If for some this transition to a dominant or dominated role goes very well, for others it can be a source of conflict and reinforce their differentiation. The behavior of the entourage is not there for nothing, in particular when it stresses the comparison in the school success, the sport or the friends.

What to do in case of disagreement?

Like all brothers or sisters, this misunderstanding can be temporary or more or less virulent at certain stages of development. It can therefore resolve in adulthood or continue.

To help them, there is no point in forcing them to love each other, but on the contrary to promote discussion and sometimes to consider a separation of room or class for example. We must also be attentive to their development and their autonomy, avoiding comparisons and letting them evolve at their own pace.

Find out more: “The twins guide”, by Jean-Claude Pons, Christiane Charlemaine, Émile Papiernik, Odile Jacob editions.