What if happiness resided in understanding the complexity of life?
- Pursuing well-being at all costs can sometimes turn into an insidious trap, giving way to frustration and discouragement.
- Birthdays, holidays… We have all experienced daily situations that should bring us happiness and which ultimately bring disappointment. We have to know how to accept it, because we never really have control over events and reality.
- By accepting the unpredictability of life, we also accept that our existence is complex, as is our happiness.
The constant search for happiness can sometimes turn into an insidious trap, giving way to frustration and discouragement. Pursuing well-being at all costs can become a quest that eludes us, leaving us feeling uncomfortable and disappointed.
The paradox of the search for happiness
If we are neurologically programmed to seek pleasure and avoid pain, the pressure of our modern societies, focused on constant well-being, can sometimes lead us into situations where the search for happiness becomes paradoxical.
So, investing our energy in activities meant to bring well-being can also bring results that are anything but joyful. Despite our best intentions, this pursuit of happiness can lead to frustration.
Become aware of the lack of control over happiness
We have all experienced daily situations that should bring us happiness and which ultimately bring disappointment: organizing a birthday, vacation with friends, etc. Research in positive psychology has demonstrated that we all have a concept and a very standardized idea of what positive activities are: spending time with friends, talking about gratitude, helping others or occupying our free time, for example.
However, we tend to forget that we never really have control over events and reality. It is therefore this gap between what we expect and what is really happening which can be a source of suffering and give the impression that the more we seek happiness, the more it escapes us.
Happiness is not a universal recipe
Understanding that happiness is not a universal formula, but rather a personal exploration, allows us to better adjust our expectations and find well-being where it truly resides.
Ultimately, this disappointment in the quest for happiness can be very useful in adjusting one’s expectations by better selecting one’s activities, relationships and lifestyle. By accepting the unpredictability of life, we also accept that our existence is complex, as is our happiness.
Learn more: “How to be happy…and stay happy” by Sonja Lyubomirsky
