What if my child is bullying?

If we speak, rightly, of the victims of school bullying in France, we often forget that behind each child hides one or more bullies. Acting as a parent quickly means preventing harassment from happening again one day or another.

What goes through the mind of a bullying child?

Among bullying children, we distinguish between the leader and the follower. If the first wants to dominate and seeks social recognition, the second can be a victim himself or seek to conform to the group. In both cases it can sometimes be difficult for the child to recognize what he has done, either because he lacks empathy and does not feel guilty, or because he is afraid to denounce his executioner. .

While many parents feel responsible when the child is accused of bullying, there is no systematic imitation phenomenon. For many, the surprise can be total and cast doubt on the child’s guilt, which is nevertheless very real.

What to do when your child is bullying?

Starting by having a discussion with your child about the facts of which he is accused forces him to ask himself questions and to make sense of what happened. We can try to direct the questions around what the victim may have felt in order to arouse their empathy and compassion.

Then, a reminder of the law is necessary so that he understands that his behavior is punishable and that he will eventually be sanctioned at school. Asking him to present a sincere apology to his victim allows him to become aware of the responsibility for his actions.

The psychological accompaniment of these children is just as necessary as that of the victims to find a past of harassment or a lack of self-confidence compensated by the need to be aggressive and mean.

Find out more: “NO TO HARASSMENT” GREEN number: 3020 (Open Monday to Friday from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. and Saturday from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m.) https://www.nonauharcelement.education.gouv.fr/que-faire/ what-is-harassment/