Keeping silent prevents you from sharing your joy, but also your pain.
If it is customary to wait until the first 3 months to announce a pregnancy, it is often in reality to maintain the taboo which reigns over miscarriages, ie 10 to 15% of pregnancies in the first trimester. But if the couple does not reveal anything, who can help them in case of difficulties or miscarriage?
12 weeks difficult to manage for some couples
If some force themselves to this silence more easily (to preserve a certain intimacy or by social convention), for others it is a heavy weight to bear. Having to lie adds to the mental load, especially for women, and can aggravate an already tiring early pregnancy: hiding or otherwise justifying difficult first trimester symptoms like nausea, vomiting, or drowsiness.
It’s also an inherently emotionally changing moment that’s constrained by frustration to say nothing.
But why do we remain silent?
Historically, women have long been silent about the first months of pregnancy, simply because they did not know if they were pregnant due to lack of means. With the arrival of increasingly early tests and ultrasounds, the risk of miscarriage has taken over and many couples prefer to remain silent rather than having to announce bad news if necessary.
Finally, this imposed silence prevents not only sharing the joy of announcing her pregnancy, but also the possibility of sharing her pain in the event of a miscarriage. Lifting this taboo would free up speech and finally be supported, whatever the end of the pregnancy.
Find out more: “Three months in silence: The taboo of the condition of women in early pregnancy”, by Judith Aquien, Payot & Rivages editions.
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