Emotional intelligence, respectful communication and empathy are the key skills to develop.
- Assertiveness involves expressing one’s opinions, needs and emotions clearly and respectfully, without infringing on the rights of others.
- Emotional intelligence, that is to say the ability to recognize, understand and regulate one’s emotions while being attentive to those of others, helps to avoid impulsive reactions or misunderstandings.
- Being assertive involves learning to recognize your limitations, rephrasing criticism into constructive requests, and practicing empathy.
Whatever the situation, it can be difficult to find a balance between asserting yourself and respecting others. Too much assertiveness can appear aggressive, while a lack of assertiveness can come across as passivity. However, learning to assert yourself constructively is possible.
Understanding Self-Assertiveness
Assertiveness involves expressing one’s opinions, needs and emotions clearly and respectfully, without infringing on the rights of others. Unlike aggressiveness, which often seeks to dominate or impose, self-affirmation is part of a balanced framework where everyone finds their place.
Active listening, the ability to say “no” without feeling guilty and defending one’s needs, while respecting those of others, are the key elements of self-affirmation. It also requires recognizing one’s own limits and communicating them without hesitation, for more authentic and respectful exchanges.
The role of emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence, that is to say the ability to recognize, understand and regulate one’s emotions while being attentive to those of others, helps to avoid impulsive reactions or misunderstandings. It also strengthens the ability to communicate in a caring manner and helps to defuse tensions.
It involves understanding that emotions, whatever they may be, are important indicators of unmet needs or expectations at stake. By developing emotional intelligence, we become better equipped to assert ourselves while maintaining harmonious and constructive relationships. .
Asserting yourself, continuous learning
Being assertive involves learning to recognize your limitations, rephrasing criticism into constructive requests, and practicing empathy. A simple exercise is to rephrase aggressive sentences into “I” messages. For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to me!”, it’s better to say, “I feel ignored when my ideas aren’t considered.” This approach reduces conflict while clarifying expectations.
By starting with simple situations, such as expressing a preference during a meal with friends, and practicing regularly, you will be able to apply it in more complex situations, such as professional negotiations or family disagreements.
Learn more: “Emotional Intelligence” by Daniel Goleman.
