First of all, Joseph, thank you for your question. It will perhaps allow women to stop making guilty parties and to better understand men! A passage in your message strikes me: “She thought it was her fault!” You are right, when their partner has erection failure, a lot of women believe it is their fault. They think that they are not beautiful enough to trigger an erection, that they are too old, that they do not know how to do the right things, that they are not experienced enough, in a word, that they are not up to the task. And it is a reaction that can be catastrophic, because they criticize themselves, devalue themselves and can lose their desire. Worse still, they withdraw into themselves and sometimes move away from their partner instead of seeking solutions with him.
It’s nobody’s fault
You’re right: you know it’s not his fault. I add that it is not your “fault” either! Who says fault says sin, that is to say that you would have done something “bad”. However, you certainly did not program this outage. It is no one’s fault!
When a man finds himself with a woman in the process of having sex, he wants her the way she is. Regardless of their age, weight, wrinkles, sexual experience or inexperience, etc. This woman may believe that if he has a breakdown, it is because he does not want it. However, this is still wrong. When a man doesn’t want a woman, he avoids being in bed with her!
How to react ?
Joseph, as you have understood that she thought she was involved, she must already be reassured. Tell him: “You had nothing to do with it, it has been a long time since I had sex, my body is no longer used to it, it needs a little time to find its marks.” It is a well-known and common phenomenon. Women don’t always know it, so you might as well tell them. You can add: “And since I like you a lot, I am even more stressed.”. Indeed, some men observe that with a partner who attracts them less, the erection is better because the stake is much less. They are less afraid of disappointing her.
What are the solutions ?
If you are really anxious, there are two solutions:
- You simply tell him that you are stressed, and that you prefer to hug without going all the way, so without penetration. The fact of not having any obligation of success will allow you to lower the tension and to find your erections in a few sexual relations.
- You talk to your doctor about it and ask if they can give you an erection pill treatment, like a starter to restart your sex life. You won’t need it for long if you are healthy. At the same time, stop smoking and play sports, it helps.
And her, what can she do?
For a woman who would like to support her partner, she can say to him: “It must be a while since you last had sex, it will come back gradually.” And she can suggest, at the beginning, to make love without penetration … Or offer to accompany her to a doctor for a small treatment in order to restart the sex life.
In short, the main thing is to avoid looking for a culprit, but to face the small difficulties together. This is also the right attitude for all couple’s worries!
Read also :
- Sleep apnea: less good and less frequent erections
- Erectile dysfunction: how do shock waves work?
- My partner is complexed by the size of his penis
