The opinion of the National Consultative Ethics Committee in favor of the opening of medically assisted procreation for all women will stir public opinion. If the homosexual community, in particular, and the women who perform MAP abroad, applaud, others wonder about the family environment that is offered to these children.
On the eve of the publication of the opinion of the ethics committee on the opening of assisted reproduction to all women, Why actor met couples who went to Spain.
It is 4.30 p.m. at the end of a nursery school in Nîmes. Ulysses, 5, squints to find his parents. He joins them near the large tree which offers a little shade. He then jumps into the arms of his mother Sophie. Her other mother, Charlotte, carries her little brother Solal, 2 months old, in her arms.
These two little boys have two mothers. Just like, Esteban, 8 months, the son of Cindy and Audrey, who live in Montpellier. These families do not know each other and yet they have taken the same route to have their child. All three were conceived by artificial insemination with donated sperm (IAD) in Spain at the Girexx clinic in Girona.
For Charlotte and Sophie, the journey has been long. “Sophie underwent 4 artificial inseminations, it took 2 years to get Ulysses”. A difficult period punctuated by round trips by train and appointments with the gynecologist.
“During the treatments, it is necessary to monitor the maturation of the oocytes by ultrasound at least twice, explains Charlotte. But the clinic warns you the day before for the next day, you have to be very responsive. Sophie had a hard time finding a doctor who agreed to follow her under these conditions ”.
An illegal pregnancy
It is all the more difficult to find a gynecologist as, in France, recourse to medically assisted procreation (MAP) is exclusively reserved for heterosexual couples who have fertility problems. But in the secrecy of their office, doctors agree to prescribe stimulation treatments or to carry out examinations required by Belgian or Spanish clinics.
Names shared by couples. There is even a list of “gay friendly doctors”.
Cindy, she found her gynecologist after having suffered a first refusal. “We explained to him our desire to start a family, to which he replied that there was no reason for gay couples to be deprived of it,” recalls the thirty-something.
A journey strewn with pitfalls
And when the clinic decides that big day has arrived, these women must be ready to jump on the train or drive hundreds of miles. “For an insemination that lasts barely a minute, we made 7 hours of round trip train. His repeated absences are unjustifiable at work. A doctor friend therefore prescribed us sick leave, ”says Charlotte, who carried Solal. For her part, Cindy preferred to quit her job.
But this obstacle course does not end with the birth of children. Once they were born, they had to be adopted by their non-biological mother. During the proceedings, these children have only one official parent. “It’s discriminatory, we feel like sub-citizens,” Charlotte slips.
A legal vacuum that contrasts with their daily life. These two couples ensure that they have not received derogatory or inappropriate remarks during their assisted reproduction or since the birth of their children. They were obviously questioned about the absence of a father figure. Questions that they consider natural and legitimate because they have thought about it for a long time.
“Our son is surrounded by men, he has a grandfather and two uncles. Our friends are there too. So I think in his teens, when he has questions, he can find someone to talk to, ”explains Cindy. “I believe that several people take part in the education of a child, it is not only the parents”, abounds Charlotte.
The long-awaited opinion of the ethics committee
For these moms, what matters is that their children grow and flourish. Militant, they aspire to an opening of the assisted reproduction to all women, and the recognition of the 2e mother. A message to the new president Emmanuel Macron during the pride march on June 24.
This evolution could well be achieved with Emmanuel Macron. During the presidential campaign, he said he was in favor of opening the PMA to all women. But he warned that he would follow the advice of the National Consultative Ethics Committee (CCNE). With nearly 3 years of reflection, the report will be made public on Tuesday. The president of CCNE, Prof. Jean-François Delfraissy, affirmed that this opinion would not be unanimous.
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