If your child doesn’t follow an instruction, that doesn’t mean he’s defying you!
Understanding and following instructions is an important step in a child’s development. However, it is common for parents to feel frustrated when their child does not respond to their requests. Before interpreting this as a refusal to obey, it is crucial to ask yourself whether the child has understood what is being asked of him.
Adapt the instructions to your age
For a child to follow instructions, it must be adapted to their level of development. From 1 to 2 years old, toddlers understand simple, short instructions like “Come here” or “Give me the ball.” Accompany these requests with an explanatory gesture, such as pointing to an object or pointing to the floor to sit down.
From 2 years old, he can follow instructions containing two linked elements, such as “Take your spoon and your bowl”. At this age, he also begins to understand simple spatial concepts, such as “Put the book on the table.”
Finally, between 2 and 3 years old, he is capable of following longer instructions, but these must remain clear and concrete, for example “Put on your coat and shoes, then come to the door”.
The importance of positive and clear instructions
The way an instruction is worded also plays a key role. A positive instruction, such as “Walk slowly,” is easier to understand than a negative instruction such as “Don’t run.” The first clearly indicates what he must do, while the second requires additional effort to understand.
Complex instructions, such as those with conditions or notions of time “If you have finished your meal, you can play”, are often poorly understood before the age of 4 or 5 years. If your child seems to ignore a request, simply rephrasing it can make all the difference.
Play to learn to follow instructions
Games are excellent tools for improving understanding of instructions. For example, you can ask your child to point out different parts of their body or mime animal noises. When a book becomes a playground, it can point to images or mimic the actions of the characters.
Hiding objects and giving clues like “Look under the table” is another fun way to strengthen comprehension skills. In addition, these activities help strengthen parent-child bonds in a happy and relaxed atmosphere.
Learn more: “Talking so Toddlers Listen” by Joanna Faber, Julie King and Claire Seys.
