Nonviolent communication helps improve human relationships. It is a powerful method for creating a peaceful and respectful family environment.
Nonviolent communication aims to improve human relationships by focusing on listening and respecting each person’s needs. Applying nonviolent communication with children helps build their confidence in themselves and in you, by creating an environment where they feel respected and understood.
How to apply nonviolent communication?
Nonviolent communication is based on four fundamental principles: observing without judging, expressing emotions, identifying needs and making clear requests. This method encourages you to speak calmly to your child and offer solutions, thus avoiding hurtful and critical comments. For example, instead of saying “You always make a mess!”, say “I see you drew on the wall. Can you explain to me why you did that?”
The stages of nonviolent communication?
The first step is to describe the situation factually, without judgment. For example, if your child is dragging his feet in the morning: “I see you’re taking your time this morning.” This neutral observation helps avoid conflict and focuses on the behavior rather than the person.
Next, express the emotions the situation evokes in you: “I feel stressed because we might be late.” This step shows your child that you are human and that your emotions are legitimate, while encouraging him to share his own.
Then try to understand the needs behind the behaviors. For example, if your child draws on the walls, ask him: “Did you want to show that you draw beautiful suns?” By identifying his needs, you can better meet his expectations and find solutions together.
Finally, be clear about your requests while leaving room for your child’s reaction. For example: “Today is a work day and I need us to get ready quickly. How about we pick out breakfast together to save time?” This way of phrasing requests shows that you respect their needs while asserting your own.
By applying these techniques, you help your child feel heard, understood and loved.
Learn more: “Respectful Parents, Respectful Children: Seven Keys to Transforming Conflict into Family Cooperation” by Sura Hart and Victoria Kindle Hodson.
