Hurtful comments, demands to be perfect, lack of communication and physical displays of affection… These are the signs that your family was dysfunctional during your childhood.
- Once an adult, being aware of the dysfunctions experienced can help to overcome them and not reproduce them.
- There is less anxiety, more happiness and confidence in children whose parents are affectionate.
- Not knocking on your child’s bedroom door is one of the signs of a dysfunctional family.
During childhood, it is sometimes difficult to realize what is normal and what is not. But once an adult, being aware of the dysfunctions experienced can help to overcome them and not reproduce them. In an article from Your Tangoresearchers from the medical center ofUniversity of Rochesterin the United States, take stock of the main signs that show that a family is dysfunctional.
Lack of communication between family members
The first, called silent treatment, is the lack of communication about problems and negative emotions. Children suppress and ruminate on their anxiety instead of talking about it with their parents. Once adults, this behavior results in a tendency to avoid, seek attention and keep negative emotions to oneself, without sharing them with those around them.
In some families, physical displays of affection such as kisses or hugs are rare. This can have harmful consequences on the child. Indeed, according to a study published in 2013there is less anxiety, more happiness and confidence in children whose parents are affectionate, compared to those who do not have this relationship.
Trust is the glue of any relationship and it is therefore very important to experience it, first of all, with your parents during childhood. According to experts, not being able to count on family members is another sign of a dysfunctional family. Once adults, children who lack this confidence have a very or even too autonomous and independent character.
The injunction for perfection is a sign of a dysfunctional family
Another sign that a family is dysfunctional: pushing children to be perfect, with unrealistic expectations with which the parents are therefore always dissatisfied. Indeed, many parents also project their ideals or their fears onto their children, but this is not recommended. This can result in an injunction to perfection, with hurtful and repeated comments.
THE people who have experienced this may be very sensitive to failure, anxious about failing and hard on themselves. Especially if this parental behavior continues into adulthood. In this case, to deal with it, experts advise setting limits with your parents and understanding that it is above all a way for them to cope with their own difficulties.
Finally, last sign: do not knock on a child’s room before entering their room. According to experts, this is not healthy because this rule sets a limit which, within a family, helps the child feel safe and respected.
