Collaboration between parents and children is essential for harmonious development.
Encouraging a child to collaborate constructively is not done through coercion but through open and positive communication. By offering choices, you reinforce their autonomy, while respecting the framework necessary for their development. As a parent, it is essential to guide, communicate and support, while avoiding criticism or excessive pressure.
Offer suitable choices
One of the most effective ways to encourage collaboration with your child is to offer choices that allow him to feel independent while still respecting parental guidelines. For example, you might ask him whether he prefers to wear his blue or green coat or whether he wants to eat carrots or broccoli with his lunch.
From the age of two, you can use this method, called “structured choice.” It helps to empower your child by giving him some control over his daily life while guiding him towards options that align with your family values. You help him develop his independence and his ability to cooperate.
Communicate and understand
Explaining the reasons behind your rules or choices can turn a directive into a valuable life lesson. Instead of simply choosing for him, you can encourage him to understand and accept the decisions made. For example, you can say, “We’re wearing raincoats today because it’s going to rain.”
In this way, you reinforce his sense of responsibility and prepare him for more complex decisions that he will have to make in the future. Understanding the motivations behind his parents’ actions allows him to feel respected and valued, which promotes better collaboration.
Encourage without controlling
It is crucial to ensure that the choices you offer are not perceived as manipulation. A real choice respects your child’s preferences, without subtly steering them toward a decision that is imposed on them. For example, avoid offering a choice between eating their meal or going to their room if refusing to eat is the issue.
Ask yourself if the choice you are offering your child helps him or her develop autonomy. This way, you can be sure that the options given are not intended to control or repress him or her, but to encourage him or her to act on his or her own initiative.
Learn more: “I tried everything!” by Isabelle Filliozat.
