Finding your place as in-laws takes time, listening and a lot of kindness.
- Whether you are already a parent or not, integrating into a blended family is a challenge.
- Firstly, it takes time to establish a good foundation. It is also important to understand each other’s values, expectations and lifestyle to avoid future misunderstandings and conflicts.
- As each child will react in their own way, it is important to respect each child’s rhythm and not try to obtain their affection by force.
If becoming stepparents is an enriching experience, it is also an often complex moment that requires adaptation and flexibility. Whether you’re already a parent or not, integrating into a stepfamily is a challenge that can be overcome with a few key tips.
Take the time necessary to get to know each other and establish the basics
Establishing a harmonious relationship with your stepchildren already requires taking the time to know your partner sufficiently outside of the family context. This necessary time ensures that the relationship is serious and ready to evolve into a blended family.
It is also important to understand each other’s values, expectations and lifestyle to avoid future misunderstandings and conflicts. Patience and dialogue are the foundations on which the relationship can then be built with your children.
Create moments of sharing together
The first interactions with your partner’s children should be positive and preferably take place in a neutral place, such as a park for example, to facilitate bonding. These moments of sharing, possibly around an activity, can help build a relationship of trust and progressive attachment.
As each child will react in their own way, it is important to respect each child’s rhythm and not try to obtain their affection by force. By letting the relationship develop naturally, you put all the chances on your side to integrate harmoniously into the children’s lives.
Work as a team with your partner
Open and honest communication with your partner is essential to establishing stepfamily routines and rules. Take the time to discuss your mutual expectations to find common ground and establish rules for living together.
It is also crucial to let the biological parent be the primary authority figure with their children, while still offering your support. The goal is to form a family environment where everyone feels respected, understood and loved.
Find out more: “The DBP guide (Becoming a Step-Parent): The toolbox for your in-laws to be a beautiful family by Nicolas Delecourt and Olivier Fauchille.
