British expert Tracey Cox reveals in the columns of the “Daily Mail” how often we are supposed to have sex throughout our lives.
- Depending on their age, their longevity and the trials of life (parenthood, marriage, menopause, etc.), couples do not all make love at the same frequency.
- There is no “normal frequency” since this normality is specific to each couple and evolves over the course of life. A satisfying sex life cannot therefore be quantified.
The longer a romantic relationship lasts, the less the partners tend to have sex. But this frequency can also vary according to the periods of life. In addition to libido, age, but also health status, the degree of satisfaction we feel with our partner, drinking habits, menstrual cycles and a multitude of other factors can influence sexual rhythm.
In an article from DailyMailBritish intimate relationship expert Tracey Cox reveals how often to have sex throughout her life.
You just met
Couples who have just formed are in the so-called “honeymoon” period. This means that in the first months of their relationship, they probably have very frequent, but also more adventurous sex.
In question, according to Tracey Cox, the release of hormones (dopamine, serotonin), which causes a peak of desire and a feeling of euphoria. This is what the expert calls the “spontaneous desire” : it is enough to think of his or her partner, or to see him/her to want to make love.
You just moved in together or got married
Tracey Cox warns: moving in together is very likely to cause a decline in sexual relations. But this is perfectly normal!
When you live with your partner, it is no longer possible to hide all the little habits that you have wanted to keep just for yourself until now, for fear that his desire for you will wither. The couple then enters into a different intimacy, less centered on sexual desire, but on the relationship itself. Lack of time, stress and everyday life can also interfere with the frequency of intimate relationships.
Tracey Cox advises giving yourself a few months after moving in or getting married to readjust, “and then aim for the same amount of sex” than before. “You probably won’t make it, but if you settle for a notch or two below, you’ll do just fine.” She thus advises to set “sex slots” with his or her partner, and why not to create a “sex jar”. “On a sheet of paper, each write down 10 things you’d like to try. Tear them apart, fold them up, and put them all in a jar. Choose one a week to try.”
You are young parents
Parenthood is most often a test for a couple: we learn to become a family, we lack sleep. There is less spontaneity, less intimacy and freedom for each partner.
This has an obvious influence on the libido, which can also be damaged by childbirth. “Most couples don’t have sex at all for seven weeks after birth. Many don’t start until three months later, others wait up to a year”, underlines the expert. However, according to her, most couples resume the frequency of sexual intercourse they had in mid-pregnancy about four months after birth. “Six months after birth, most new parents have intercourse three to five times a month.”
However, you should not put pressure on yourself or make your partner feel it. Finding the desire to make love can take time when you become a parent.
You have been together for many years
When we’ve been together for a while, the ideal frequency is once a week. “But once a fortnight makes many long-time couples happy”reassures Tracey Cox.
Couples together for decades necessarily have fewer reports than at the beginning of their relationship. This does not mean that they no longer desire each other. Their relationship just evolved and the novelty factor faded. Factors such as age, children and length of relationship also greatly influence the frequency of intimate relationships.
Tracey Cox simply reminds that the right amount of sex for each couple is very subjective. There is no standard when it comes to sex: if having little sex is fine with you and your partner, then you are on the right frequency. If this low frequency makes one of you unhappy, do not hesitate to consult. You can also, if you wish, step out of your comfort zone. “Be adventurous and playful. Dare, dare! At first, you will feel embarrassed to step out of your sexual comfort zone. But you will get more and more courageous as you go”says the expert.
You are a senior couple
When one is a woman of fifty years or more, the menopause becomes a test for the sexual life. Vaginal dryness can cause painful intercourse and falling hormones can sap libido. This necessarily has an impact on the sex life of a couple. Especially since the partners are also sometimes confronted with health problems associated with aging. Fatigue, back, hip and knee pain, but also less reliable erections and general loss of desire are common.
For older couples, making love then often results from a compromise between what is best (regular sex), what is physically possible, the satisfaction of the relationship and the pleasure you experience in making love. ‘love. The frequency can therefore vary from once a week to once every two months. “The more regularly you have sex, the healthier your genitals are. Like other muscles in our body, they need exercise”, underlines Tracey Cox. The expert also recommends using lubricant for each sexual activity and, if you feel like it, using sex toys. “They are the solution to many problems. They help you stay sexual if you are single, solve erection problems and meet the need for increased stimulation if sensitivity has decreased.”
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