Admit that desire is complex and capricious
It should be understood that the libido is not a long quiet river, and accepting it. There is nothing abnormal about being sometimes whimsical: on the contrary, it is normal for desire to wither away. The main thing is that this does not last, does not spoil the relationship, out of embarrassment or resentment, or simply because we avoid moments of intimacy and the silence becomes heavy.
Remember that desire comes from lack
When we do not live together, frustration promotes desire, while living together causes a form of saturation which leads to a decrease in desire. Not being too fusional, preserving your secret garden, your activities, your personal relationships, is important to maintain your individuality and create a lack necessary for desire.
Give yourself time to want …
Often, in their decrease in desire, women highlight the fact that they do not have time to want, their partner is always more demanding than they. “What a woman asks for in order to have desire is space and time: complicity, sharing good times, will prepare her to put herself in a situation of desire”, explains Dr Sylvain Mimoun. To desire the sexual act, you must have reached a certain degree of arousal. “This rise is very slow for women and the desire is gradually rising. When the man (who, when he has desire, wants to “make it happen” very quickly) very early expresses a request for physical rapprochement, this causes a halt, and the woman closes like an oyster, explains Dr. Ghislaine Paris. She feels this premature desire as a violence unsuited to her feelings. However, there are not only two possible solutions, accept or refuse. The woman can decide to play with this desire, to rejoice in being desirable, to take advantage of it to quietly raise hers. »This allows us to get out of a strictly defensive position, and will always be better accepted by the man than a brutal refusal.
Stop pressuring yourself
Even unconsciously, thinking for example that an evening for two, a romantic weekend or a week’s vacation,is bound to drive you crazy with desire and solve any difficulties. Expecting too much of these moments, we risk missing everything, this obligation of results often blocking the process of desire and arousal. Rather, let yourself be carried away by the emotions of the moment.