Too jealous: we stop checking
… And we seduce our companion
We struggle to check what he’s doing, where he’s from, who’s texting him on his cell phone. Instead of spending unnecessary energy hurting yourself (well yes, controlling what the other is doing will not prevent a possible extramarital relationship, quite the contrary), we move on to the seduction phase. “We can transform this negative energy of excessive jealousy into energy for seduce the other for example, advises Ghislaine Paris. Often this is enough appease this jealousy“.
Too jealous: we are proud of our man
Many women are interested in our man. Rather than giving him a soap as soon as he gets hooked up or deigns to look at a beautiful brunette, we tell ourselves that we are proud to be with someone so sexy and attractive. We realize how much we care about him. And how much her sex appeal stirs up our desire…
Too jealous: we play down
If he’s in a relationship with us, it’s because he chose us, and not the neighbor. Our torque is strong ? So there is no reason to feel threatened by another woman.
To calm bouts of jealousy, you can list the situations that trigger jealousy and reverse the roles: “Would my partner be jealous if I talked to a man in the evening?” An effective technique to relativize.
Too jealous: we gain self-confidence
Too jealous: we communicate and share our fears
Repressing your feelings is not desirable in a relationship. To avoid tension and dissipate misunderstandings, we can admit to our spouse that a situation has made us jealous. Without adopting an aggressive and reproving tone and by saying “I” and not “you” (more guilt-inducing), we express what we felt: “I noticed that this woman was hovering around you”, “I felt not good”.
Too jealous: we gain self-confidence
Often jealousy hides a lack of assurance and self-confidence. “We doubt our ability to be loved and we don’t see why our companion is with us. We think that the other will necessarily notice our lack of value and will leave us for another”, explains Ghislaine Paris, doctor-sexologist. Learn to love yourselfand telling ourselves that we have value is the first thing for live peacefully in your relationship.If the feeling of jealousy becomes too obsessive, you can turn to a psychologist to work on yourself.
Thanks to Dr. Ghislaine Paris, doctor-sexologist, author of “A desire so fragile”, Leduc S.Editions and “Making love to avoid war”, ed Albin Michel.
More tips in the “Workbook to make love last” by Françoise Dorn at ESF editor.
>> To read also: Jealousy: good for the couple’s health