More than one in two French people consider themselves “shy” or say they have been so in the past. The “shyness-disease”, would affect one in 20 people and the “shyness-paralyzing” one in 40. However, solutions exist.
An apprehension of the unknown or of a “first time”, that is, of a situation that is unfamiliar, causes shyness.
Those who suffer from it seek to avoid these situations so as not to feel uncomfortable, but the downside of this type of strategy is that they therefore do not learn to face them and the shyness persists. It is better to face, but not necessarily alone.
The difference between shyness and shyness-illness
There are different types of shyness, with degrees ranging from mild to one that handicaps all relationships. We must therefore avoid general theories which tend to trivialize the psychological and behavioral consequences of shyness for everyone.
Shyness-disease, concerns one in 20 French people, nearly two million of whom are affected by the so-called “paralyzing” form, a shyness that psychiatrists call “social phobia” and which promotes the appearance of depressive states, the consumption of alcohol, tobacco or even cannabis.
Shy people do not necessarily feel the same level of shyness in all situations and towards all people. There are plenty of examples of outgoing radio presenters who are die-hard shy people as soon as they leave the microphone. The same goes for actors full of daring on stage who turn out to be monsters of shyness as soon as they are interviewed.
Why are we shy?
We absolutely cannot blame this problem on genetics alone, because it has been proven that a more or less withdrawn character comes rather from the environment in which the child was raised.
Legend has it that shyness is not a fault, but it is those who are not shy who peddle it. Those who suffer from it tend to perceive their own shyness as a fault, and many are uncomfortable because of it. But it is true that many timid people are seen as attentive ears, and who think more before speaking.
Shyness, can it be cured?
Shyness fortunately gradually decreases with age and life experiences. A child who is shy in the face of unfamiliar people may eventually lose this apprehension later on. But it’s a shame to wait until you are old to be rid of.
First of all, you should absolutely never use medication. What our doctors did not always do when they were heavy handed with anti-anxiety molecules. These inappropriate prescriptions have made our country the first consumers in the world of this category of drugs.
The anxiolytics can temporarily reduce the level of anxiety, but expose to a significant risk of cognitive side effects and especially a real dependence, all this without real modification of the fears on the bottom.
Cognitive-behavioral therapies
The solution will come from so-called “behavioral” therapies, of which we are beginning to have very solid experience. Their goal is to learn to manage their fears and face social situations more calmly. The ideal is to do it in groups, for a “training” in the form of role plays with several. An effective treatment but unfortunately not available everywhere in France. The anxiety is very strong, the process is sometimes impossible at the beginning. There remain classic individual sessions.
Blushing is not necessarily the result of shyness.
The cause of “modesty erythema” is stress rather than embarrassing situations. Whoever blushes is therefore more stressed than embarrassed. It is estimated that 10% of French people blush excessively.
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