New breasts after cancer?

Will Jutte (59) had to have both breasts amputated because of breast cancer. She had a breast reconstruction done.
“It was clear to me pretty quickly that I would have my breasts reconstructed. I don’t want to be maimed or looked at because I’m flat. A bra padding didn’t seem like a good solution to me. I would constantly worry if it would still be okay. However, the reconstruction was drastic. And as beautiful as it looks, it’s not a natural breast.

I was 48 when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Or actually a pre-cancerous stage of cancer, but removing the breast was the best measure to prevent a real cancerous tumor. A few months later, it turned out that there was a tumor in the other breast.

In both operations, a prosthesis was immediately placed under the pectoral muscle. Initially, this was a bag with a valve, but the permanent prosthesis was only added later. By pouring liquid into the pouch every few weeks, the pectoral muscle was stretched. That stretching of the muscle and the skin hurt. A kind of muscle pain or a feeling as if there is a very tight band around your chest. But the result is good: I think my breasts look beautiful.

However, not everything has gone well. The left prosthesis was replaced after seven years because it had shifted slightly. And the judge also had to be replaced a few weeks ago.

But the new prosthesis was rejected and everything became inflamed. When that has fully recovered, in a few weeks, a new prosthesis will be fitted. The annoying thing is that the pectoral muscle has to be stretched again. I had a nipple tattooed on both breasts and I hope it will still be in the right place.

I feel mutilated now, yes, with that inflammation. I don’t look at it in the mirror and I often sit with my arms in front of my chest so that you can’t see that I’m flat on that side. But I have every confidence that it will be all right, and so is my doctor.

I have absolutely no regrets that I chose this method. Remember, I was diagnosed with breast cancer ten years ago. I have been very happy for ten years that I survived and that I still have feminine shapes. Although my breasts aren’t that important sexually anymore. At least not for me, but for my husband. They look and feel solid, which is nice, but I don’t feel them, so it doesn’t bother me much when they are touched.

What bothers me the most is that many people don’t understand that I had a reconstruction done. Certainly now that one breast is not going well, the comment is not out of the air. ‘Stop it, man, all that hassle!’, they say. Why would I? The result is beautiful and I look like any woman. And I would like that.” Margreet Verkuijlen (65) had a breast amputated five years ago. She decided not to do a reconstruction, but to wear silicone fillings in her bra.
“Not even fifteen minutes after I was told that my breast had to be removed, the doctor started talking about breast reconstruction. He showed the implant to my husband and said, “Feel how heavy they are.” I was perplexed and my husband said: ‘Nothing is being reconstructed at all!’ It all happened way too fast for us.

I went to a radiotherapist friend for a second opinion. He advised me not to immediately do a reconstruction, because it was not yet clear whether I would also need radiation or chemotherapy. Radiation certainly seems to make the reconstruction ugly. Actually, I thought that was fine, because I was primarily concerned with whether there would be metastases and whether I would heal.

During the operation, they took into account a possible later reconstruction. They left the skin a little loose. But what I really love is that they’ve done it in such a way that I have a ‘slit’ between my breasts. So I still have a cleavage and can wear a v-neck. Although the deep sweaters that I used to like to wear are a thing of the past.

A year or two after the operation I started thinking about reconstruction. I found it annoying that I couldn’t wear certain clothes in the summer, because sometimes when I bend over slightly you can see that there are scars or that there is padding in the bra. And it seemed nice to have two breasts again.

However, I quickly dismissed the thought. I would have to go through a whole medical process while I was healthy. Would I have to get cut again? In addition, I also got rheumatism at that time. Rest to my body, that seemed more important to me than getting a little more beautiful.

My husband didn’t think a reconstruction was such a good idea either. He wondered whether it would be wise to implant something foreign to the body. He doesn’t find me any less attractive now that I only have one breast. And I don’t feel any less attractive either. No not at all! In the beginning it was different. I thought it was ugly when I looked in the mirror. But now, well, I’m in my 60s now, your body doesn’t get any better as you get older, that’s just the way it is.

I don’t see the fact that I’m missing a breast as a mutilation, but as a physical defect. I also don’t feel inhibited to go to the sauna, for example. Someone once told me she thought that was ‘brave’, but what’s brave about that? This is my body, this is what life has made of it and I am at peace with that. Because how bad is it really? My chest has fallen off, but I can live on just fine now and I am healthy. I am happy about that.”