What is incest?
Strictly speaking, incest is defined as a relationship of a sexual nature between members of the same family, for example between a father and his daughter, a mother and her son, or a brother and a sister.
Incest: sweeping away preconceived ideas
Incest is the subject of many confusions. “Some do not make the difference between incest and pedophilia when there is no such intra-family dimension in pedophilia”, explains Estelle Kramer, midwife and member of the aiVi association, the international association of victims of incest. Worse, the ignorance of incest is such that “some even think that it is a disease”, adds Estelle Kramer.
Another reason able to explain this taboo which hovers over incest: the legislative vagueness which surrounds it. Incest is not expressly recognized in the Penal Code. Incestuous acts are reprehensible when they are considered as sexual abuse, rape or sexual assault on a minor by ascendant or person having authority.
Faced with this legal void, many prefer to remain silent: 90% of victims would not file a complaint according to the aiVi.
Get out of the conceptual blur
The extent of incest is poorly known. But according to a survey carried out in 2009 by the aiVi2 million French people (3% of French people) have been victims.
The whole difficulty is to encourage the victims to break this “law of silence”. And to find an attentive ear… Indeed, when the victim finally manages to talk about it, in one out of five cases, his interlocutor has asked him to remain silent! Worse, sometimes his word is questioned, the victim sometimes being accused of lying, underlines an Ipsos poll carried out in 2010 for theassociation aiVi.
Talk about it and get support
The victims need to talk about the trauma, to name the facts, avoiding the ambiguous terms sometimes heard, such as the expression “incestuous climates”, which, according to Estelle Kramer, maintains a little more unease. “You have to call a spade a spade. When you have suffered incest, you have suffered rape, sexual assault. The whole ambiguity is that we don’t dare talk about things, about reality. We have to get out of the conceptual because it contributes to fueling the taboo, the smokescreen that surrounds this issue. Incest should not be considered a concept but a fact, just as rape is a fact and not a concept.
For the victims, incest is a harsh reality whose trauma often leaves scars for life. Frequent feelings of guilt, denial, low self-esteem… People who have suffered incest are much more vulnerable. They are more exposed to a certain number of pathologies: increased risk of eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia), risk of depression, suicide attempt…
To get out of this infernal spiral, it is important to talk about it and seek support. Estelle Kramer, midwife, pleads for the development of “systematic screening”. It is for health professionals to identify victims of incest by asking specific questions to patients. “This opens up dialogue so that we can better support them,” explains Estelle Kramer, who has already met pregnant women who were victims of incest in their childhood in her profession. “It is very difficult for a victim to become a parent,” she points out.
Loneliness is a trap to avoid. Professionals (midwives, psychologists, associations such as aiVi, maternal child protection, toll-free number 119) have the mission of listening to victims and reassuring them to help them dissipate the difficulties and fears they may encounter. .
Thanks to Estelle Kramer, midwife and member of the aiVi association, the international association of victims of incest.
The aiVi association offers support groups for victims and is looking for funding to open new ones, to respond to the many requests. http://www.kisskissbankbank.com/en/projects/change-their-life
More informations http://aivi.org/
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