What is incest?
Strictly speaking, incest is defined as a relationship of a sexual nature between members of the same family, for example between a father and his daughter, a mother and his son, or a brother and a sister.
Incest: sweep aside preconceived ideas
Incest is the subject of much confusion. “Some do not differentiate between incest and pedophilia when there is no such intrafamilial dimension in pedophilia”, explains Estelle Kramer, midwife and member of the association aiVi, international association of victims of incest. Worse, the ignorance of incest is such that “some even think that it is a disease”, adds Estelle Kramer.
Another reason that can explain this taboo that hangs over incest: the legislative vagueness that surrounds it. Incest is not expressly recognized in the Penal Code. Incestuous acts are reprehensible when they are considered as sexual assault, rape or sexual assault on a minor by ascendant or person in authority.
Faced with this legal vacuum, many prefer to remain silent: 90% of victims would not file a complaint according to aiVi.
Getting out of the conceptual blur
Little is known about the extent of incest. But according to one survey conducted in 2009 by aiVi, 2 million French people (3% of French people) were victims.
The whole difficulty is to encourage the victims to break this “law of silence”. And to find an attentive ear … Indeed, when the victim finally manages to talk about it, in one in five cases, his interlocutor asked him to remain silent! Worse, sometimes his word is questioned, the victim is sometimes accused of lying, underlines an Ipsos poll carried out in 2010 for theaiVi association.
Talk about it and be accompanied
The victims need to speak about the trauma, to name the facts, avoiding the ambiguous terms sometimes heard, like the expression “incestuous climates”, which, according to Estelle Kramer maintains a little more the unease. “You have to call a spade a spade. When you have suffered incest, you have suffered rape, sexual assault. The whole ambiguity is that we don’t dare talk about things, about reality. We have to get out of the conceptual because that contributes to fueling the taboo, the smokescreen that surrounds this issue. Incest should not be considered as a concept but as a fact, just as rape is a fact and not a concept “.
For the victims, incest is a harsh reality, the trauma of which often leaves a lifelong stigma. Frequent feelings of guilt, denial, low self-esteem … People who have suffered incest are much more vulnerable. They are more exposed to a number of pathologies: increased risk of eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia), risk of depression, suicide attempt …
To get out of this infernal spiral, it is important to talk about it and to be accompanied. Estelle Kramer, midwife, pleads for the development of “systematic screening”. For health professionals, this involves identifying victims of incest by asking specific questions to the patients. “This opens up a dialogue so that we can better support them,” explains Estelle Kramer, who has already met pregnant women who were victims of incest in their childhood in her profession. “It is very difficult for a victim to become a parent,” she points out.
Loneliness is a trap to be avoided. Professionals (midwives, psychologists, associations such as aiVi, maternal child protection, toll-free number 119) have the task of listening to victims and reassuring them to help them dispel the difficulties and fears they may encounter. .
Thanks to Estelle Kramer, midwife and member of the aiVi association, the international association of victims of incest.
The aiVi association offers support groups for victims and seeks funding to open new ones, to meet the many demands. http://www.kisskissbankbank.com/fr/projects/changez-leur-vie
More informations http://aivi.org/
>> To read also: Sexual violence: the aggressors often know their victim
Sexual assault: soon a GHB detector