Learning to forgive comes later.
Being able to forgive or say “sorry” usually comes around age 5 or 6, when your child is able to understand that they can make mistakes. As parents, you can help him understand that he has the right to be wrong and to forgive.
How to teach him the concept of the right to make mistakes
To have the right to make mistakes is to recognize that you have the right to make a mistake, to break something or to do something stupid and then to apologize, ask for forgiveness and possibly repair it. Only, because of his brain maturity, your child is not able to understand that he could hurt another person until around the age of 5 to 6 years.
The little ones will therefore tend to apologize more by mimicry, or because you ask them, than because they have understood. This is why after 5 years it is important to check with him that he understands the importance of his gesture on the other and that he asks for forgiveness to repair his act.
How to help him to forgive?
Start by explaining to him that everyone has the right to make mistakes and that it also happens to you to be wrong or to hurt someone, for example. Then, talk to him about situations he has experienced to make him understand the pain he can cause others: for example when his brother broke his toy or his friend said an insult to him. Remind him of the emotions he may have felt at the time and the apologies he enjoyed afterwards.
Finally, teach your child that he can fix his act by returning what he borrowed, fixing it, or changing his behavior in the future. In this way he will learn to pay more attention to others and to the consequences of his actions and words.
Find out more: “Forgiveness is heart-warming” by Carol Ann Morrow, Éditions du Signe.
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