I have major problems with past negative events in my marriage. For example, I am unable to separate daily events from the past. That is why I have had couples therapy in recent years, alone, but also with my husband, and have had several conversations about trauma processing.
My behavior puts quite a stamp on our marriage. My husband has recently started experiencing physical symptoms from our stress, for which he has had tests to rule out heart failure. Because of this I sleep very badly and I have a huge urge to prove myself to my husband. I am very emotional, one week of which every month is very extreme, which causes major problems. We have been together for 12 years, 8 of which we have been married.
My husband is 56 years old, an engineer, works as a self-employed person and has an enormously demanding job with the accompanying responsibility. I am 47 years old and the events and statements make me feel stupid, difficult and undervalued.
We are able to start with a clean slate after an escalation, but I don’t know for how long. The fear, insecurity and the feeling of being inferior have the upper hand for me, which makes it more and more common. I need help with this, but I’ve actually lost confidence because of the many conversations and the final result.
I am open to anything I can do to make my marriage stable.
Name known to the editor
Henriëtte Schoones, sexologist NVVS/relationship therapist
I think it is best that you contact your GP. I don’t want you to have to deal with more disappointments if you don’t end up with the right care provider. Your GP knows your history and can refer you to the right professional.
Henriette Schoones
Sexologist NVVS/Relationship Therapist
Do you also have a question? Then ask one of our experts. Always go to your doctor with urgent questions, the experts are not the right person for that. They also do not diagnose. The other conditions can be found here.
Henriette Schoones specializes in sexual and relationship problems. She has her own practice for sexology and relationship Therapy in Tiel and works as a sexologist in the Rivierenland Hospital in collaboration with the gynaecologists.
