Announcing your divorce to your children is not just a trivial matter. It also depends on their age. Here’s how to do it.
Once the decision to divorce is made, it is now time to talk to the children. To avoid making mistakes from the first words, it is possible to adapt your speech and shape it.
Adapt to the child’s age
Announcing the divorce to a child or a teenager is not done in the same way. However, regardless of the age, it is very important not to lie and to explain what is right and true. Overall, the ad should be suitable for three age groups:
– Under 6 years old: at this age it is difficult for the child to imagine what a separation really is. Using his cuddly toys, for example, while speaking in a calm and reassuring language, at his level, is important so that he understands what is going on. Do not hesitate to hug or kiss him regularly, and to explain concretely what will happen to him.
– Between 6 and 11 years old for girls or 13 years old for boys: the pre-adolescent needs to feel reassured and to know that he will be able to stay very close to both parents. In addition to adapting his speech with simple and accessible words to his age, it is necessary to expect to answer the questions which concern him.
– In adolescence: preparing for a speech is all the more important at this age because the child will have many questions and will seek to destabilize his parents to test their choice. Do not hesitate to answer in a clear and thoughtful manner while protecting your privacy.
How to answer his questions?
At any age, children need to be reassured and know that they will always be loved by both parents. The question of material arrangements, in particular custody, is very important to him. Without a response to his worries, he risks developing anxieties and rejection. Do not hesitate to answer his questions and make it clear to him that you are not separating because of him.
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