What’s involved?
Divorce seems to be becoming more and more common. That doesn’t mean it’s an easy step. Getting a divorce can cause you quite a bit of stress and grief.
You are not only divorcing on paper, but also emotionally from someone. Since that already costs enough energy, we have listed some practical matters for you. What should you keep in mind if you are getting a divorce?
Numbers
In the Netherlands, about 37,000 couples divorce each year. That means one in four marriages are at risk. For men and women, the main reason for getting a divorce is that they can no longer talk to each other. So communication is very important! The second important reason is mentioned clashing characters and in third place is cheating.
Types of Divorces
The first thing to think about when you make the final decision to break up is how you want to get a divorce. If you opt for a flash divorce, your marriage will be converted into a registered partnership. All you need to do is sign an agreement. Then this partnership ends with another agreement. If you also sign the second agreement, you are officially separated. The advantage of this is that you do not have to go to court and you are divorced very quickly. Hence the name flash separation. It is a useful way if you already agree on alimony, children and the division of your wealth.
In most cases, the choice is made for a divorce through the courts. For this you need a lawyer who will file a divorce petition on your behalf. In the meantime, a lot of things have to be arranged. For example, consider the following:
- What will happen to the house?
- How much alimony do you receive or do you have to pay?
- How are the household effects distributed?
- Who gets custody of the children?
- What kind of contact arrangements are agreed upon?
- How is the pension going?
mediators
If you are not able to resolve the matter at all, you can enlist the help of a mediator. That is an independent third party that can help you find a middle ground. The mediator leads the discussions and tries to find a solution that is favorable to both parties. You can opt for a mediator, but the judge can also help resolve the conflict. The advantage of a mediator is that he helps you to resolve the matter without quarrels. You can hire a recognized person or someone you both trust and can be independent. A mediator can be a lawyer who you can look up in the telephone book or on mediation.pagina.nl.
Contact arrangements
However, it is possible that you cannot resolve it together and your partner objects to, for example, the visitation arrangement with the children. According to the law, every child has the right to contact with both parents. In most cases, the child goes to the mother and a visitation arrangement with the father is sought. As a guideline, you can, for example, take your child to visit his father for a weekend once every two weeks. In addition, arrangements are made about the holidays. An example: the child spends a third of the holidays with his father.
Also keep in mind that both parents have the right to information about the child and also have joint custody. So decisions have to be taken together. In special cases, the court may decide that it is better for one parent to be given custody. There must be good reasons for this. For example, a child of twelve can request a change of parental authority. If the child is younger, the judge will determine whether he can make that decision. One of the parents can also ask for it. The reason may be that the child himself wants to live with his father or has hardly any contact with his mother.
Alimony
Alimony is a not unimportant point that must be properly arranged. The amount of alimony you receive for the children depends on the income of yourself and your partner and how many children you have. In principle, the father pays alimony until your child is 21. You will also receive alimony yourself, if your partner is the one who earns the most. In principle, this takes twelve years. If the partner to whom alimony is paid remarries or starts living together with a new partner, the payment stops.
If you cannot find a solution yourself, the judge will determine the spousal maintenance. The amount is determined on the basis of the payer’s net income and the amount he needs for himself. This is called the carrying capacity. After this, the judge looks at what the alimony warrior needs. If a marriage lasted less than five years and there are no children, the alimony will last as long as the marriage lasted.
The total income of the husband and wife must be the same. Suppose the woman earns 1000 euros per month and the man 2000 euros. The woman then receives 500 euros per month, so that both come to an income of 1500 euros per month. If a woman earns enough for herself, she gets nothing. The alimony is deducted from own income.
In court
Once all this has been arranged, a hearing can take place, but this is not necessary. For example, if there are no children under the age of twelve and the partners agree on the arrangements, then there is no hearing. In that case, the judge makes a decision that is sent to your lawyer on paper. This is called a decision.
All in all, the entire divorce process can take anywhere from three months to a year. How long it takes depends on how you arrange everything.
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