A new study shows that being forgiving towards your own faults or mistakes allows you to have a more fulfilling life as a couple.
To be happy in your marriage, first start by being lenient towards your own faults and yourself. A study, conducted by the Otto Friedrich University of Bamberg and Martin Luther University Halle-Wittenbergreveals that this approach can lead to happier couples.
The article was published in the journal “Personal Relations”.
Couple: self-compassion helps the relationship in love
For their study, the researchers interviewed 209 couples German-speaking heterosexuals between January and December 2022. THE Participants had to complete a questionnaire on their life as a couple, their degree of satisfaction with their sexuality or even the sustainability of the long-term relationship. They also assessed the level of self-compassion individually and within the relationship.
The team found that individual and relationship self-compassion was a key factor in marital satisfaction. “Self-compassion is having a caring, kind, and attentive attitude toward oneself – especially regarding one’s own shortcomings.”explains lead author Dr. Robert Korner from the University of Bamberg. “We have found that a person’s ability to respond compassionately to their own inadequacies, suffering, and pain in the relationship benefits both members of the couple. In this way, an actor’s self-compassion improves not only their own happiness, but also that of their partner.”
Research has also found that men derive the most satisfaction and benefit if their partner demonstrates compassion within the relationship.
According to the researchers, their work can be useful for couples therapy, because it is possible to teach self-compassion maybe trained. “For example, when faced with a personal failure or inadequacy, you might ask yourself: “How would I behave towards a boyfriend or girlfriend if they found themselves in such a situation? You can then apply this type of treatment to yourself.”explain the authors in a communicated.
As the team focused on German-speaking heterosexual couples, they believe it would be interesting to study the effects of self-indulgence in other types of households, such as same-sex relationships as well as in different cultural contexts.
