We must distinguish the fact of not having pleasureat each intercourse, which is normal, and the fact of not having any at all regardless of his partner and for at least six months. In this case, it is indeed a disorder of pleasure, formerly called frigidity. Most often of psychological origin, it is fortunately reversible. Different origins, different solutions.
Education received and taboos
They are the first brakes to pleasure, amplified it is true, by the ignorance of one’s body. Inexperienced teenagers, but also women, believe that it only takes one penetration to achieve orgasm. However, a large majority of them do not obtain enjoyment by penetration alone because the other erogenous zones such as the clitoris are not sufficiently solicited. So what to do? “Learning to walk before running, which means learning the geography of pleasure before reaching orgasm,” explains Dr Sylvain Mimoun. Time is important: you don’t trigger pleasure like flipping a switch.
The partner
Yes, it can also maintain or cause sexual blockage. “The whole difficulty for young women who are not familiar with the game of love is that the less experience they have, the more they are embarrassed by the reaction of the other, adds the doctor. As long as he too wonders and awkwardly abandons himself, the report leaves a taste of frustration and bitterness. Then comes the fear of not getting there the next time, and the gear is thus engaged “. If the partner is a precocious ejaculator (this is common in young men), the woman needing minimal time to achieve arousal, the orgasm will slip away. In this case, it is up to the man to consult a urologist, an andrologist or a sex therapist.
Lack of estrogen
More common in women in their forties, it dries up the vagina. The irritation that follows is an obstacle to pleasure, which can lead to sexual breakdown. The problem is solved by a prescription of hormonal gel at the level of the vulva or many other small means detailed below.
Menopause
She entails in the more or less short term the drying of all the mucous membranes. Hormone replacement therapy largely overcomes this drawback. The woman can also locally use lubricants sold in pharmacies without a prescription.
Small illnesses
Herpes, cystitis, repeated yeast infection, in short, anything that creates irritation is an obstacle to desire and pleasure. You just need to treat the medical problem to get everything back to normal. If, on the other hand, the situation sets in and the infections or the discomfort become repetitive, it is also necessary to wonder about the why of this masked “opposition”, with a psychosomatician or a sexologist.
Hysterectomy
The removal of the uterus, or the simple fear of undergoing this procedure, causes loss of pleasure. “Around 35-40 years old, it is unfortunately very common to have a fibroid, and the evocation of a possible intervention terrifies women, even if very few of them will be operated on in the end,” observes Dr. Mimoun. The threatening shadow cast on femininity makes you become an observer of your pleasure and you no longer give up. Here again, you have to talk to your doctor to free yourself from your fears and understand that, in theory, nothing prevents a fulfilling sexuality after an intervention, even a radical hysterectomy. A few months may be enough to re-tame your body.
