Being too demanding with your child can make him lose confidence in himself.
If the perfectionist parent thinks that he is acting in the interest of his child by valuing performance and results, he often forgets that this pressure destabilizes him to the point sometimes of abandoning his own dreams out of discouragement and fear of failure. .
Do you recognize yourself as a perfectionist parent?
Being a perfectionist parent means wanting everything to do with your child’s performance, whether at school, at home, in sports or all extra-curricular activities. Only the results count, he must always be the best. Very often, moreover, as perfection does not exist, the parent is never satisfied and asks to start over by adding additional pressure for success.
This type of behavior actually comes to satisfy the own desires of the parent who projects his own ideal onto his child. The latter then thinks that he does not exist if he fails or does not arrive first. The consequences can be significant on his self-confidence and his ability to accomplish projects, including in adulthood.
What if you are a perfectionist parent?
If you identify with this personality type, generally avoid adding performance pressure to what your child naturally puts on himself. Teach him that failure is also important to learn from his mistakes and realize that perfection does not exist.
Give your child more freedom to choose the activities he likes and don’t forget to respect his development by avoiding being too demanding too early in what he can do. In short, go towards letting go so that your child can affirm his own desires and have his own experiences, the perfect child does not exist!
Find out more: “Learning from imperfection” by Tal Ben-Shahar, Belfond editions.
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